4town DDLC Au Rewrite | Some changes DISCONTINUED

Part 25 Act 1

I can't believe this! Tae is going to be coming to my house on Sunday...? Even though I would have preferred to do this with Aaron... My anxiety still shoots through the roof. I hurdd I've gotten pretty used to handling him at this point... But who knows what might end up happening when we're outside of school? He even told me he was looking forward to it... I shake my head. Why do I feel so nervous that Aaron finds out about this? It's not like we feel that way about each other... Besides, like Jesse said, this is about the club. I have nothing to worry about. If I just go with it, then I'll have a good time.

It's already Sunday. I've been getting increasingly anxious about Tae's upcoming visit. I keep telling myself there's no reason to be nervous, but it doesn't help much. Tae is clearly an introvert and also an intimate person in general. There's no doubt that he'll open up a little bit when it's just the two of us. Meanwhile, we've even been texting occasionally. He was extremely apprehensive at first, but it wasn't long before I was already learning more about him. But putting Tae aside... I haven't heard a thing from Aaron since he left club early the other day. It's not like we text each other all the time or anything... But I've been worried about him in the back of my mind. Between what Aaro said, and what Jesse said... Is it really okay for me to put Aaron's feelings aside when he might need me? I decide to visit Aaron before Tae comes over. Rather than asking, I simply tell him "I'm coming over", much like we've done in the past. Once I reach Aaron's house, I knock on the door before entering it myself. Again, we used to play so often that we've made it a habit of simply entering each other's houses like we were family. The house is quiet. Aaron isn't anywhere on the first floor, so I assume he's up in his room. It's already strange of him to not run down and greet me. I head up to his bedroom, where I finally find him. "Aaron?" "Hi Robaire~" I sit down in his room. Aaron forces a smile, but it's easy to tell he's different. There's a minute of silence between us. "You haven't come over like this in a long time, have you?" "Ah... I guess you're right. It has been a long time. Not much has really changed, has it?" Aaron's room is as messy as it's always been. I also recognize the same stuffed animals and wall decorations that he's had for years now. "Ehehe~ If you came over more often, it wouldn't be such a mess." "That's because I end up cleaning it for you..." "How come you suddenly wanted to come over today? Aren't you supposed to see Tae today?" "Yeah, but... ...Wait, how did you know that?" Aaron had left by the time we decided that last meeting. "Jesse told me. It's only natural for him to keep me informed about the festival preparations, right?" "Ah, that's true... But what about you? Aren't you going to be helping Jesse today?" "Of course! But I'm just helping him online. We didn't plan to meet up or anything." "Ah, so it's just me and Tae, then..." "Yep~" There's more silence between us. Aaron stares in a random direction. Everything about his behavior is really uncharacteristic. I finally get to the point. "I just...wanted to see how you were doing. After you left on Friday. When Something’s wrong, you can't hide it from me. I know you too well. So..." Aaron smiles, shaking his head. "That's no good, Robaire." "Eh?" "Why can't it just be like it's always been? This is all my fault. If I didn't get so weak and accidentally express my feelings... If I didn't make that stupid mistake... Then you wouldn't have to worry about me at all. You wouldn't have come here. You wouldn't have even been thinking about me right now. But this...is just my punishment, isn't it? I'm getting punished for being so selfish. I think that's why the world decided to have you come over today. It just wants to torture me. Ehehe~"

"Aaron!" I grab Aaron by the shoulders. What on Earth are you saying?! Are you listening to yourself right now? I know something happened to you. There's nonother explanation for you to be like this. So tell me, already...! Until I know, I won't be able to stop thinking about it!" "Ah... Ahaha..." Aaron gives me an empty smile. You really put me in a trap, Robaire. But... You're wrong. Nothing happened to me. I've always been like this. You're just seeing it for the first time." "Seeing what? What are you talking about, Aaron?" "Ehehe~ You're really just going to make say it, aren't you, Robaire? I guess I have no choice this time. The thing is... I've had really bad depression my whole life. Did you know that? Why do you think I'm late to school every day? Because most days, I can't even find a reason to get out of bed. What reason is there to do anything when I fully know how worthless I am? Why go to school? Why eat? Why make friends? Why make other people put their energy and caring to waste by having them spend it on me? That's what it feels like. And that's why I just want to make everyone happy... Without anyone worring about me." "..." I'm in shock. I can't even figure out how to respond. How is it possible that Aaron kept this from me the entire time that I've known him? Did he really want so badly for me to just not think about him? "...Why, Aaron?" "Eh...?" "Why is it that you've never told me about this? It almost feels like I've been betrayed as your close friend. Because if I knew, I would have done everything I could to support you! Even if there's only so much I could do... I would have tried a little bit harder to make everyday a little better for you. That's why I'm your friend! All you had to do was tell me!" "You don't understand at all, Robaire. Why do you think I didn't tell you? Because if I told you, then you would have to waste effort caring about me instead of doing important things. I don't want to be cared about. It's bittersweet, when people try to care about me. It feels nice sometimes. But it also feels like a bat being swung against my head. Ahaha~ That's why I wanted so badly for you to make friends with everyone else... Helping everyone be happy together is the best thing for me. But then, I discovered something else, too. Seeing you make friends and get closer with everyone in the club... It feels like a spear going through my heart. So, that's why. That's why I decided the world wants to torture me. Every path leads to nothing but hurt. Ahaha~" "You're right that I don't understand... I don't understand your feeling at all, Aaron. But I don't need to understand. Whatever it takes for me to help you stop hurting... That's what I'll do." "No, Robaire. There's nothing. Nothing at all. The only thing that could have helped is if everything could be like it always was. But I was selfish. I finally showed you what a horrible person I am." Tears streak down Aaron's face. "I made you join the literature club because I was selfish. And I was punished by my heart hurting in a way I couldn't understand. And now you came here and I made you hurt, too. I'm just weak and selfish. That's all I am. And that's why I'm going to accept these punishments. Because I deserve every last one...!" Without thinking, I once again grab Aaron's shoulders. This time, I pull him into a tight embrace. "A-Ah— Robaire..." "Aaron. I don't care if you feel selfish. I'm just really happy that you convinced me to join the club! Seeing you every day makes it worthwhile enough. If I make friends with everyone else, then that's just a bonus. But please never underestimate how much I care about you. I wouldn't have it any other way." "Robaire..." Aaron isn't hugging me back. Despite my arms being wrapped around him, Aaron's arms remain at his sides. He starts sobbing next to my ear. "No... Don't do this...to me... Please don't do this... Robaire... I..." Aaron barely manages to speak between his sobs. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. But all I want is for him to know that I care. "If you have it in you to call yourself selfish, then you have to let me be selfish too. No matter what it takes, I'll figure out what needs to change. I'll make these feelings go away. And if there's anything that you need me to do... Then you'd better tell me. I'll get mad if you don't." "... I...don't know... I don't know... I don't know." Gently, Aaron finally pits his arms around me in return. "I don't know anything. It's all ready scary... I don't understand any of my feelings, Robaire... The only time I'm not feeling nothing is when I'm feeling pain. But... Your hugs are so warm... ...And that's really scary, too." Aaron let's me go. As he does so, I let him go as well. "The festival is tomorrow." "Yeah..." "It's going to be fun, right?" "Yeah." "How would you like for me to spend it all with you?" "U-Um... Ah—" "It's what I want. I promise." "I... I think that would be nice, then..." "Yeah." Aaron wipes his eyes. If I could spend the day here, I would. "Of all days, this has to be the one where I have other plans... Maybe I should cancel—" "No, don't—! Please don't... If you did that...then I really wouldn't forgive you." "But... It’s almost time for Tae to meet me at my house... At the very least, do you want to come along and help out? It would be fun." To my surprise, Aaron shakes his head. "I'm sorry. I don't know if that would be very good for me today. You understand, right?" "Ah... It’s...kind of hard for me to fully understand. But I'm trying my hardest." "It's okay. Don't worry too much about it. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" "...Alright. I look forward to it." I say goodbye to Aaron and exit his house. On the way home, I find myself still feeling uneasy. But it's hard for me to keep thinking about it when Tae is about to come over, too... I think Aaron is right. I shouldn't be worrying too much, and we're definitely going to have a great time tomorrow. I should just focus on what's ahead of me!

As I approach my house, I see something that makes me feel a moment of panic. "Tae—?" "Ah... Thank goodness..." "You're a little early... I'm sorry I wasn't home yet! Were you waiting for a long time?" "No, I just got here. But I started to get really nervous when nobody answered the doorbell..." "You always could have texted me. If I had known, I would have reassured you and hurried more on my way home." "Ah...I suppose that's true... I didn't think of that...for some reason." It should be common sense to do that, but I decide to ignore it. "Anyway...let's go inside. I see you brought a lot of stuff with you." "That's right. And you did manage to find everything I asked you to buy as well?" "Yeah, pretty much. At least, I hope I got everything right." "I'm sure it will be fine."

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Words: 2004
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