Stepping Stones to Hell

chapter 3

After soundcheck Robin made her way back to the dressing room areas. She needed to drink water and ice her wrists with what little time she had left. She knocked on the first dressing room door, hoping Steve would be inside.

"Come in," she had heard his voice from the otherside.

Relief flooded through her just at the sound of her best friend's voice. She pushed the door open and groaned. As she shuffled into the room, Eddie was already holding a bottle of water out for her. She grabbed it thankfully and plopped down on the couch next to Steve. "Well, how'd it go?" He asked.

Robin waited until she had drunk almost half the water before answering. Trying to decide what to say. "It went well. I wasn't expecting Nancy Wheeler to be there. Why didn't you say that?"

"Well, I just know tensions used to be high between the two of you. I was afraid you might turn the offer down had I told you beforehand."

Robin cocked an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? I've always liked Nancy. Sure, we may have not been compatible friends back in the day but.. I've always respected her as a person and not to mention she's a hell of a writer."

Eddie lifted his water, "Cheers to that."

"It was nice though. Nancy asked me questions that mattered and that were centered around what I had to offer to men. It was a really good environment. I fear the pictures might look... Well, I don't know." She looked in the large mirror across from them. The lipstick didn't look bad. She didn't look bad. "Okay, fine. I look great. But, I just feel like posing is hard. I probably look like a stiff board."

Steve laughed then patted Robin's knee. Robin's thoughts drifted back to the last question Nancy had asked her. "What do you guys think about me coming out?"

Steve tilted his head but it was Eddie who spoke first, "To who?"

"Like everyone?"

Robin could feel her cheeks heating, "It was just an idea. I just thought maybe," she started but paused to hear any protests. But they both were silent and listening closely. "Well, you know the point of this is to like, be a role model right? Women for women and such. It's important for young girls and women to have women in all industries they can look up to."

"Okay, go on," Steve encouraged.

"But, what about queer women? Like sure there's representation with me doing an article cursing the patriarchy but what about what coming out could do? I just think of someone who was like me. Young, confused and just wanting someone to look to. I just-" she choked. Why was it so hard to say? "I just think coming out could give hope to people out there. Not just gay women, but anyone in our community. I'm just afraid of opinions."

"Opinions of who? We already know your gay, babes," Eddie said.

"Well, what about Nancy? Will she even publish a story focused on a gay woman?"

Robin bit her nail but Steve smacked her hand away from her mouth. "We just painted those. But, no? Why would Nancy care?"

"Well, because, well-" But Robin had nothing to add to that. Of course an all woman magazine would be progressive.

"I think you're more scared of yourself than anyone. Why?" Eddie asked.

Robin rolled her eyes. She hated when Eddie spoke deeply and started making sense.
"I'm not scared."

"Really? You've only ever had one girlfriend and you wouldn't even bring her on a double date."

Robin threw up a hand, Steve had no right to bring that up. "I was young! I've been busy. I'm not dating because I don't want to. I just can't right now. I'm focusing on this band, obviously."