I'm not queer | ♡Johnnyboy♡

Suprise! Im gay!

Johnny's pov.

Ponyy and I sat at the coffee table playing cards when basically everyone walked in at once. "Hey everbody!"  Steve said slamming himself onto the couch next to soda. "Hi." I said giving Johnny my last ace. "Do you have a queen?" Pony asks. I groan and hand him my card. "Fuck you." I said as he laughed evily and put down a set of queens.

"Hey guys, we kinda have somthing to tell yell, I don't know how you will take it but we've gotta tell you at some point." Soda says grabbing everyone's attention. Once we were all looking at them Soda said, "Were, um kind of going out-" Soda said, Steve grabbing Soda's hand. "I told you! Pay up!" Dally shouted at two bit. Two groaned and handed Dally a ten dollar bill. "Wait you guys knew?" Steve asked confused. "Well we definitely did after last night-" Pony started so say before Soda gave him a, don't you even think about it or u will kill you look.

I looked at Darry then, he was standing in a corner not saying anything. "How long?" He asked looking up. Soda looked confused, "How long have you known your gay?" Darry asked sternly. This scared me, was he homophobic? "Uh, since I was 14." He said nervously. "Two fucking years..." he muttered, "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked sounding hurt. "I- I didn't know how you would react-" "Your my kid brother! I'm going to support you no matter what! You and Ponyboy are thr only family I have left you think I'm going to care if your gay, straight, or a fucking unicorn?" He asked. 

"I'm sorry Dar." Soda said. "No I'm sorry I made it seem like you coulnt tell me." Then he walked up and gave him a hug, there were tears in Darry's eyes. "Anybody else wanna confess anything while we're all emotional?" Darrey asked. No one answered. I did, but I couldn't. I wanted to so badly but I couldn't muster up the words to say anything.

"I-" that's all I could muster out. "Hm?" Pony asked being the only one who heard Me, "I, um." I felt like I wad going to throw up from the anxiety. "I-"  "Take your time Johnny, we'll wait as long as we need to." Dally said. "I-" I took a deep breath in and said, "I like someone." Shit! Why tf did I say that!? Now there going to be asking so many questions, why didn't I just say I was gay?

"Who?" "Is that what you were thinking about this morning?" Pony asked. "Uh, yeah that's who I was thinking about this morning." I mutter. "Who's the lucky girl?" Dally asks, "um, oh god here we go." I say nervously. "So the thing is, She's well, she's not exactly a, uh girl-" I say wincing. I look to Ponyboy, he seemed shocked. "Huh, I would have had no idea." He said, "How long have you known?" He asked. 

"I guess I've kind of always knew, but It didn't really occur to me until last night." I admitted. "So who do you like then?" Dally asked. There it was, the exact question I was trying to avoid. "Uh-" "Does he go to our school?" Pony asked, "Yes-" "Whats he like?" Dally asked. "Oh, uh how do I describe him..."

"He- he has brown hair, kinda long but not like long long, he is really smart, he likes books and movies. Is honestly a nerd but I love that about him. He , he has beutiful green eyes, there like the ocean I could dive into them and get lost, he also has an amazing smile." I look up, everyone was on the edge of their seat. Had I said to much? "Johnny I'm supposed to be the poem guy." Pony Said smiling. "But seriously, that could be a poem, the ocean green eyes part, that was beutiful!" He said. 

I smiled, "If you want me too I could write a poem for him if you tell me what to write!" He offered "Oh, okay." I said, knowing it would never be given to him. "But seriously who is it?" Pony asked. "How stupid are you?" Dally asks. "It's so obvious!" He says chuckling. He looks at me and winks. I could tell that he knew. "Who?" Ponyboy asks. "You'll have to figure that out yourself." He said. Was I that obvious? 

"Come on Johnny just tell me, I'm your best friend!" He begged. "Sorry. No can do." I say crossing my arms. "Ugh." He groaned. He stood up and set his cards down. "Where are you going?" I ask. "I, am going to the store to buy some flowers." I gave him a confused look. "Johnny, you, Steve, and Soda just came out infront of all of us and that takes some bravery with the fact that is the 60s and everybody is anti gay. If you can do that. I can confess to Cherry." And just as he said that he walked out the door closing it behind him. 

What did I do? What did I do!? I started to shake, "Ouch, that had to hurt." "Shut up Steve." I say bitterly. "Was I that obvious?" I asked. "Johnny Ponyboy is the only smart kid your kid beside you. It's obvious." Darry said. I curled up into a ball rocking back and forth. It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. "I should be happy for him, if he's happy I'm happy." I say trying to convince myself. 

"Well if you ask me you don't seem very happy." Dally said. "Because I'm not! I'm being selfish arnt i?" I ask. " No your not. You have every right to be upset." Two said making me feel better. "Are you sure?" I ask. "Posotive." He says. I nod and unravel myself from the ball I had made mysled into. I slumped down into the floor and stared at the celing knowing there was nothing I could do.