I'm not queer | ♡Johnnyboy♡

Gay? Nah I'm Bi. Edited

Ponyboy's POV

My eyes fluttered open, I felt a weight on a chest. Johnny and I were all cuddled up together. I blushed madly. His arms were wrapped around my stomach, and my arms were around his chest, with his head on my chest. I looked at the time, it was 6 AM, I needed to get up for school, but I really didn't want to, I wanted to stay in his arms forever. I felt Johnny wiggle around and open his eyes, I assume the first thing he saw was blue fabric. He then looked up at me, he kind of just stared at me.

"Enjoying the view?" I ask cockily. "Shut up." He laughed flustered. He left my arms making me feel incomplete. "I think I'm going to skip school." I say, "Why?" He asks, "So I can hang out with you, duh." Johnny smiled. "Hey Johnny," "Yeah?" He asks, "I think we should talk about last night." I say, he swallows heavily. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, I wasn't thinking straight." He apologized, "Johnny," "And I get it if it's awkward hanging out with me," "Johnny." He looked up at me, "Johnny your fine, I actually really like you, can- can I kiss you?" I ask.

"Yeah-" I cut him off by pressing my lips against his. Fireworks went off in my heart. We pulled apart. "Wow." Johnny said, I chuckled. "Wait, what about Cherry?" Johnny asked, "When you ran out of the diner I told her that if she couldn't accept me for who I was we couldn't be together." I explained. He nodded, "Are we dating now?" I ask. "Only if you want to." He said smiling, "So that means we can hold hands, and cuddle, and kiss?" He asks, I nod. He smiles. "In that case," He then slithers his way into my arms again. 

I could have stayed like that forever but we were interrupted by a knocking on the door. I jolted awake being disrupted from the sweet dream. "Pony, wake up you gotta get ready for school." Soda says popping in, I nod, he leaves. I look down at Johnny thinking about the romantic dream. The dream had felt so real, it made me want to puke. Johnny probably thinks I hate him because of last night. Last night, for a second I questioned if that was a dream too, but it couldn't have been, because Johnny was sleeping beside me with bruises and cuts all over his body. 

I couldn't imagine what it was like, this was the third time he had almost died in the last two years. I felt bad for him, and the truth was the most recent ones are my fault. If I hadn't fallen asleep, invited Johnny to stay for the night, no one would have gotten hurt, Johnny would have never killed Bob. If I had just responded to what he confessed last night. 

I scrunched up into a ball resting my chin on my knees, not in a sad way, more of a, "What the fuck is wrong with me? Do I like Johnny? I'm straight, right?" Just a confused position. Thinking about it, I have always have caught myself paying attention to the muscles in the guys in movies, but at the same time, I also caught myself looking at girl's lips, and hair when I watch them too. "God what am I doing?" I whisper to myself. 

I didn't know what to do, I usually went to Johnny to when I needed help, but I couldn't this time. I was closest with Johnny out of the entire gang. I thought about all the time we had spent together in the church. We had been through it all together. I glance at Johnny, he was still sleeping peacefully, I brushed his hair out of his face. I only knew one thing, and that it was going to be awkward as hell unless I talked to him. I needed to talk to him.

If I didn't, I might loose a friend, a best friend. I couldn't deal with that. I would hate myself forever. I couldn't live without Johnny. I then realized what I had said. "I can't live with out him." I say quietly. The movies, when I though he looked cute, at the church, and even before that, and now. Especially now. My ears turned pink. Then it hit me, if I hadn't found him any sooner he might have died, I guess I knew that but it didn't register in my mind.

Then another thought entered my mind, why didn't I check the lot first!? If I were Dally last night I would have smacked myself for being so stupid. But that didn't matter now, Johnny was okay, I was okay. I had gotten worked up over nothing. I felt the bed shift, my head turned to face Johnny, he slowly sat up yawning. "Morning' Pony." He says quietly. "Morning'" I reply. I clench my fist. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "Huh?" Johnny asks.

"I'm so sorry." I say at a normal volume. "What for?" Johnny asks, acting as if last night never happened. "I'm so sorry." I say hugging him, tears start to form in the corners of my eyes. "Pony, you don't need to apologize, you saved my life." He says pulling away from the hug, he puts his hands on my shoulders reassuring me. "But it's my fault you ran off, if I had just said something." I said crying. 

"Ponyboy. I ran off. It's not your fault." He says somewhat sternly making sure that I know it. "We screwed up." I say, he chuckles. "I'm real sorry I didn't say anything last night, in the moment an entire ocean fell over me with thoughts and confusion."  I admit. He nods, "It's okay. I get it, you like Cherry, and I accept that." He says moderately sadly.

"I- I definitely don't like her anymore she's a bitch, I don't know how I didn't see it before." He nods listening to every word that I say, that's one thing I love about him. There goes that word again, love. "I'm just so confused, because I've always liked girls but now I like you so am I gay, am I straight? Gosh I'm sorry, I'm a mess." I apologize wiping my tears, with a small smile on my face. 

"You know, you could be bisexual." Johnny suggested, Bisexual, I had heard the word before but I didn't know what it meant. "What's that?" I ask, "It's when you feel attracted to both girls and boys." He explained. I nodded, "Maybe, I mean it sounds about right." I say. The word bisexual keeps circling around my head. "So are you bisexual?" I ask. He grins, "Hehe, no, I'm definitely gay." He says chuckling. 

A/N: Okay as I'm writing this I'm realizing how similar this is to the scene in heartstopper when Nick goes to Charlie's house after the party, did not do that on purpose, oh well.

"But what about when you were 13? You were dating some girl named Lisa." I asked. "Dating her is what made me realize I was gay." He admits. I nod, "Your not just born gay, or straight. You, experiment with people." He explains, "So, you like me, I like you, what does that make us?" I ask, he shrugs, well I wouldn't mind being your boyfriend." He says shyly. A dust of pink spreads over our cheeks, "I- I wouldn't mind that either." I say flustered. he grabs my hand sweetly, "I like you a lot Pony." He says smiling. "Yeah me too." I grin.

I look into his deep brown eyes, he looks at mine, he places his hand on my cheek, we both lean in, the tips of our lips touch, just as the door opens suddenly. Our heads shoot to the door way moving away from each other, "Pony I told you to get up- oh?" Soda smirks leaning against the doorway. "So, what's going on with you two?" He asks, "Um..." I try to muster up words but I fail. 

"Don't worry, I won't say anything. I'm not gonna go around telling the entire town, that's up to you two, have fun." He says leaving. We glance at each other, before bursting into laughter. I watch him laugh, I smile, he looks happy, the happiest I've seen in a while. "Weren't we in the middle of something?" Johnny asks, "Yeah, I think so." I say pulling him into a soft warm kiss. We pull apart and giggle, our lips connect again making my heart do back flips.

We flop down on our backs, we stare at the ceiling holding hands, giggling, and smiling. 

Holy shit, I actually published! Sorry for making you wait, I was having some writers block but ye. Hope ye enjoyed it!