The pain i had to go through

CHAPTER 2:It was so hard

Now im in midddle school and i have a new start and no one knows bout what happend in 3rd grade(so i thought).When i walked into,my first period i seen this boy so i wanted to make some new freinds. I sat beside and said hey my name's damon what's yours he looked at me and while not saying anything moved to a different seat like he was disguisted. It was so weird as all the kids joined the class room people were talking and introducing themselves,when i heard a voice go hes gay in elementry he liked this boy named richard.As i looked over in the corner of my eye he was pointing at me i wanted to break down and start crying.Then i looked over at him while he wasnt paying attenttion and it was the boy i was trying to be freinds with i realized it was the same boy who saw me tell my imaginary richard i loved him.I was so surprised i thought this was going to be anew start for me but i guess i thought wrong.
Once i got home i ran up to my room and bursted into tears.My little sister kiley came upstairs and asked what was wrong,i didnt say anything. She went down stairs i heard her tell my daddy i was crying,soon my daddy rushed up stairs.He pushed me off thebed and told me to stop acting like a little girl and asked what was wrong with me,when i didnt say nothing he told me he wasnt gone have a b.tch for a son and what ever it was i better suck it up becuase i had two sisters i had to take care of. And this put even more pressure on me because my father is sitting here telling me bassically he doesnt want a gay son when i didnt even tell him i ws gay yet i was so frustrated i had to keep everything inside i had no one to talk to about this. Then being his only son put even more pressure on me cuz once he finds out hes going to be devastated.
I was getting teased by poeple mostly boys in school.They would throw slugs but they never just came out and said something directly to me.They would talk loud and say things like i use to know this dude named richard and he was fine or theyll have a girl flirting with aguy and the guy would say i dont like girls i like richard,the whole class would laugh.At this point i was use to it but it still hurt,i didnt think every one in my school knew for sure about me but i knew they thought i was,kids i didnt know would come up to me and ask me was i gay.I never told anyone the truth cuz i knew i would just get teased more so i would tell them no.in the 7th grade i met this girl named ashley the first day we talked we had a connection like we had known each other for years. I would tell her anything but the only thing she didnt know about me was that i was gay. Me and ashley were like sister and brother.And when she would see some one bullying me she would speak up and tell them about theyself.
One day she was over my house we were chillin and talking and i really thought about telling her about me.But for some reason i held back.she told me she had to go cuz her momo had pulled up so she left.I heard aphone ring like they were getting a message and when i looked down it was ashley's phone she had left it.I wondered if i should look at the message and i did because im really nosey.The text was from a girl that said hey babe when u gon come over i miss u and i luv ucall me when u get a chance.OMG was all i could think about i read their previous messages and they were going out. I couldnt believe it why didnt she tell me she was a lesbian,i was so happy now i really thought i could tell her about me.The next day,i told her i was gay and i told her about what i had found out on her phone. (It was not the reaction i was expecting at all)She yelled at me and told me why would i look through her phone she said i wpuld pay if i ever told anybody.
The next day when i walked into my class everyone looked up at me and laughed i couldnt understand why.The whole day i wanted to ru to ashley and tell her what was happening and the whole day i didnt see her.once i saw her in the hall way i said hey ash she looked at me and rolled her eyes,and said why are you talking to me aint you mad about what i did. I didnt know what she was talking about so asked what do you mean,she pulled out her phone and showed me what she had sent to every person in her contacts list it was a picture of me and it said he just told me he was gay and when she sent it to a boy she added you better stay away from him.I didnt understand i thought we were best freinds i thought to myself.At the moment i wasnt thinking i just acted and my hand swung and hit her in the face.A teacher who saw me ran and grabbed me before i could do any thing else,and as she pulled me away i slowly took ashley phone without her knowing.
I got suspended for two weeks and when i got home i took out ashleys phone and screen shotted the conversation she had with her girl freind and i sent it to every one i knew and posted it on instagram.Ashley didnt know it,she said i was going to pay but she was going to pay.Then afterwards i started to feel guilty i was sad cuz she told my secret now im just as bad cuz i put out her same secret i felt so ashamed of myself i took i t off my instagram page. But by then every one had saw it the next day i ran up to her door step nocked on the door,left her phone their and took off running.The whole time ash was my only true freind and i just pushed her away even more.