THE BOY WHO WATCHES THE MOON [werewolf]

Chapter 9

A/N: Shout out to my home dawg biscut T-Short, she's a very promising author. So if you like one direction, you should check her out!

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Wouldn't want your little girlfriend to see what a freak you really are, would you?

Those exact words streamed through my blood, causing my body temperature to rise and fall in erratic patterns. What have I done? Just one little mistake, led to a mess of big ones... I just couldn't do it anymore. 

I closed my eyes, water gently seeping through the small cracks at the corners as I felt myself begin to tremble, pushing them back with all my might. I glanced to my right, and on the floor I spotted through blurry vision a composition notebook and closed pen, sloppily tossed onto the ground and forgotten about. I paced over to it, opening the journal to the smell of fine white paper. Completely unused.

I didn't hesitate to tear away a page, and begin to scrawl in not the neatest handwriting what I had to say, in the smallest amount of space, and the littlest amount of time.

נυѕтιη,

ι'м ѕσ ѕσяяу... ι ¢αη'т ∂σ тнιѕ тσ уσυ αηумσяє. уσυ'яє яιgнт, αℓℓ ι ∂σ ιѕ ¢αυѕє тяσυвℓє. ι нσρє тнιηgѕ ¢αη gσ вα¢к тσ ησямαℓ ƒσя уσυ ωнєη ι'м gσηє. ι'м яєαℓℓу ѕσяяу ƒσя єνєяутнιηg.

¢нαѕє

 Before I could react, a tear had glided down my cheek and slipped off the edge of my chin, landing and spreading where I'd signed my name. It was still legible, but in a way, it kind of made sense for it to be that way. My name was signed just as I felt like on the inside; a dizzy mess.

I had to force another couple of deep breaths, in an attempt to whisper away the pain that was endlessly stabbing me in the gut, so much that I almost began hunching over. Knowing what I was going to have to do, my eyes peered toward the glass window to my left, and I trudged toward it, wanting nothing more than perhaps a tragic fall, letting everything buried deep inside me to stop hurting any longer.

My life had become a stack of Lego bricks, piling every little touch of pain on top of each other one by one, until anyone with eyes could see it was just about ready to fall. I was an open wound, always starting to close, and a dagger always seeming to find away to continuously shread the scab right away. Most of all, I was a black hole, and I couldn't allow myself to hurt anyone anymore.

My life was the girl that your parents warned you to stay away from.

My hands trembled unsteadily as I clicked off the locks on the window, gently sliding it up to reveal a fresh breeze of cold air, the wisps against my freshly wet face bone chilling. I struggled to pull off the screen, the only thing so far standing in my way of escaping. After a minute full of constant failed attempts, I gave up, and leaned backward, putting a leg in the air. With all of the rage and fury built up inside me, it didn't take long for the screen locks to snap, sending it plummeting to the grass below.

I stuck my head slightly out the window, enough to see the tattered screen bent up on the ground, a slight smile forming through all of the tears. After  a cautious glance, I noticed a bush of flowers there that would break my fall. It didn't matter at this point though, because it's kind of hard to prevent someone from doing something stupid if they don't care about their own survival.

It was only a matter of seconds before I nervously pulled my leg up again, this time with the ability to put it out the window. My other leg followed, and soon enough I was sitting on the ledge, slowly sliding away from one of the many places I knew I didn't belong.

All this time, I'd been on the brink of completely losing my sanity. No one understood what it was like to come home to the news of losing your father, the only man who you knew you would be able to escape into his loving arms at any point in time.

No one understood what it was like to come home to the news of losing your alcoholic mother, through out all of the problems she had and all of the doubts, you knew she would do anything for you. The woman you were developed in, and the woman whom you would never be able to let go of.

No one understood what it was like to come home from school, forgetting about the stupid homework and chores, but only wanting to talk to your little baby sister, who you couldn't see yet but could talk to for forever. And then realizing now, the only way you could ever talk to her again is folding your hands together and closing your eyes, and the only way you'd be able to see her is if you pretend she actually got the chance to show off her beautiful smile and have the chance to grow up.

Don't you dare try to tell me that a broken neck could hurt me more than that.

I counted down from 3, every breath I took releasing a shallow new number. "3... 2...1..." Zero was too much to say, too strong. Zero could've been the last thing I would ever say. And if I was to die that moment in time, I would die with something, rather than nothing.

And after that, I leaped.

I think that no one really knows how beautiful things are, until they get just the right view. It's all like a photographer's prospective, jumping, hunching, crawling, until it seems just so right. And at that moment in time, my hair flying above me, my body catching speed, the sun hit the leaves on the trees in just the right place. The trunks were the perfect shade of brown, the flowers were the perfect shade of white. And I closed my eyes at the end of my couple seconds of perfection, knowing that if it was the end, there was no better place for it to be.

With quiet thud, everything was black.

I smiled. Pain wrenched through my veins, my hands clenching into tight balls. Is this what it's supposed to feel like to die? Is this what it means, is this what it's supposed to be? Am I in hell?

I cried. Maybe this is what has to happen, all of my emotions leaving before the judgement, so I can be clean.

When my eyes opened, I realized I wasn't going to heaven, by God, I was probably in the worst hell imaginable.

I was still alive.

I heard a quiet noise, and realized that it was the familiar noise of a door opening. Shit.

I looked up in panic, and though my bones, especially right arm, were in the most excruciating pain I'd ever dealt, I scrambled away, the fear of someone seeing me motivating me to at least crawl. I knew Justin would be out the door to look for me, so I lifted myself up off the ground, and limp-ran until I just couldn't feel it anymore.

I had to get away.