I thought it through before I said it. It will hurt anyone who hears it, but for those who said it, who still love her so much, it hurts more. How painful it all is.
Khun Sam looks like he hit his head. She's dizzy and having a hard time believing the words I've said.
"You want to finish me?"
Hearing the words from her mouth makes my heart shatter. I want to touch her and hold her, but I control myself because I've come this far and I can't go back.
"We have reached the end of our road together. You must accept."
"No, I'm not going."
She keeps shaking her head in denial.
"Why don't you believe me? This marriage is just to satisfy my grandmother. Kirk and I will not have a deep relationship."
"You need to wake up. This is the real world. You are getting married and it will be impossible for nothing to happen on your wedding night."
I bite my lips hard.
"I am also hurt. Do you think I don't feel anything?"
"Then why do we need to break up?!"
"Because?, Because I don't want to become an adulteress."
I cry like a loser, put my hands over my face and fall to my knees without any hope.
"I don't want to think that you might end up sleeping with him. Or what noises it will make if you sleep with it on. Or if one day you will love him more than me. And he will become your true husband."
"Never. I will never let that happen."
She kneels down to accompany me, wipes the tears from my face with her thumb.
"Accept, Khun Sam. We are women. We won't be able to live our whole lives together."
I say while crying.
"One day you will have your own family. Especially you, who were born to be perfect. If you make this mistake, how will they look at you?"
"I don't care about others."
"What about your grandmother?"
"..."
"You don't want to disappoint your grandmother, correct? You are a good girl. You cannot disappoint her."
Khun Sam looks at me like he doesn't know how to calm me down. I face her and say decided;
"I realized this a while ago. Even if you didn't have your grandmother, we wouldn't have a happy ending. I can't drag you with me. We need to finish."
"You asked to date me. You cannot leave me."
Khun Sam cries and tries to dry his own tears. Now she is so understanding.
"If you thought we couldn't go on together, you shouldn't have made me fall in love with you."
"I never thought we would get this far with this. I just adored you as my idol and now I'm his girlfriend. It's too much for me."
"..."
"This world is for the strong. Khun Nueng told me that we couldn't get past your grandmother, because your grandmother knows the world better than we do."
"Khun Nueng...?"
Khun Sam bites his bottom lip hard.
"What else did she say?"
"She told me I'm too weak. And that you are too good... In this game, the winner is your grandmother and that we both should just accept that fact."
"I do not accept."
