“Nalini!”
“Yes, mistress!”
“What did you see in Koshambi’s Ashok Park today?”
“Shikhi’s grand renunciation ceremony! What a mesmerizing scenario it was! I felt really delightful.”
“You felt happy! But I felt quite sad. Nalini, you may express astonishment on my words. Yes, you can laugh, you can feel happy. Even I can feel delightful, but I feel sad. My heart is weeping.”
“Mistress, I am unable to understand what you are trying to say.”
“How will you even understand? You won’t be able to understand.”
This conversation was taking place in Koshambi’s adjoining city Priyankara, in the palace of King Sindhu’s daughter Kamlini. It was night. The palace was lit up with the dim light of lanterns. Kamlini was lying down on a soft bed. Her trustworthy attendant, Nalini was sitting next to her.
Kamlini held Nalini’s hand and said, “You got worried, didn’t you? I put you in confusion, right? But I’ll clear your confusion now. Nalini, you know how much I adore you? And we should never hide anything from the ones we love, right?”
Nalini felt extremely joyful on hearing Kamlini’s statement. Her behaviour towards Nalini would always be full of love and affection. Even Nalini used to consider and respect Kamlini as her mistress.
She said, “Mistress, you have faith in me, don’t you? Believe me, you have my complete support now and even in the future.”
“Nalini, what I want to tell you should remain only between the two of us, don’t tell it to anybody else.”
“I swear that I will keep your secret to myself.”
“And Nalini, you will help me too?”
“Yes, of course. I make a commitment to you.”
“So listen, Shikhi has won my heart. I am really impressed by him. Nalini, I have started liking Shikhi. I feel that I have fallen in love with him. I feel as if we both have been related to each other since previous lives. Today, when thousands and lakhs of people saw Shikh’s renunciation and got impressed, except me! I felt as if we have been living together since our previous lives.”
“Now, I understood everything,” said Nalini.
“Since the time I have seen Shikhi, I have been attracted towards him. Nalini, I don’t understand how should I say? What should I say? But Shikhi is my only unmatched hero.”
“Okay ma’am, but how am I supposed to help you?”
“Firstly, don’t talk about this in front of anybody till the time I don’t get to talk to Shikhi. Secondly, find out when will Shikhi leave Koshambi and which way will he go. In case he is not coming towards our city, then ask my mother to tell my father to go to Koshambi and request Acharyaji to visit Priyankara. And make sure he gets them to our city. But in all this, ensure that my name is not mentioned anywhere. Understood?”
Nalini closed her eyes for a few seconds! She was experiencing remarkable pleasure.
She opened her eyes and said, “Mistress, I have always respected you. I have a deep connection with you. You are my mistress, I am your servant. I have promised you. Trust me, I will never hurt your delicate heart.”
It was night. Kamlini was feeling sleepy. Nalini slowly opened the door and left the room.
Nalini had made arrangements to get updates of Koshambi! Her aunt lived in Koshambi which was just 144 kilometres away from Priyankara.
She got the news that Acharya Shri Vijaysinh and other monks were coming to Priyankara. And if they feel that the region is appropriate, then they will be staying there for a month. Nalini gave this news to Kamlini. She felt overwhelmed. She could see all her hopes, wishes and desires getting fulfilled. There was still one week. But even one week seemed extremely long to her. Nights were difficult to pass, she had sleepless nights. Shikhi was all over her mind.
Nalini came and told Kamlini, “Mistress, this morning, Acharya Vijaysinh has arrived in Kaustubh Park which is in the east of Priyankara.”
“Okay Nalini, now you find out when and where can we find Shikhi alone? All the monks go to silent places, mountain caves and isolated spaces for divine meditation and meditate there without any hesitation.”
“Okay, I’ll find this out tomorrow itself.”
“Don’t make it late but don’t hurry either. Do this work with utmost alertness.”
“Come on! Why do you worry? Don’t you know about my work efficiency?”
Kamlini laughed. Nalini left from there.
“Princess, your mother is calling you,” a servant said to Kamlini.
“You go, I’ll come.” Kamlini immediately changed her clothes and went to her mother’s room.
The queen saw Kamlini and said, “Good you came dressed up. We all are going to Kaustubh Park. Acharya Vijaysinh has arrived there from Koshambi. We are going to worship them and get their blessings. Your father is also coming.”
Kamlini got goosebumps. Her heart felt extremely joyful. ‘I will be able to see Shikhi today itself. My fortune is so strong. I hope my desires get fulfilled.’
King Sindhu and his entire family went to Kaustubh Park, worshipped Acharya Vijaysinh and asked about their well-being. Acharyaji gave blessings saying 'Dharmlabh.' He preached for a short time. Kamlini’s eyes were finding Monk Shikhi. But it was difficult to find him in such a huge group of monks.
After listening to the discourse, the queen herself told the king, “We shall return to the city only after meeting Monk Shikhi who recently accepted monkhood in Koshambi.”
The king politely asked Acharyaji, “Where will we find Monk Shikhi?”
“This monk will take you to him!”
A monk walked ahead and the entire royal family followed him.
Under the Ashoka tree, a cloth was laid on the barren land. Monk Shikhi was sitting there, engrossed in studying scriptures. The royal family went towards him and worshipped him.
King Sindhu introduced himself and said, “Young monk, Brahmadutt is a good friend of mine. That’s why, my entire family and I were present in your renunciation ceremony. You have made your life worthy.” Monk Shikhi’s eyes were fixed on the ground. Moonlight of bliss was dancing on his face. Kamlini was admiring Monk Shikhi without even blinking her eyes. Waves of various emotions were overflowing in her heart.
After greeting him, everyone returned to the palace.
When Kamlini entered her room, she saw Nalini waiting for her. Kamlini was extremely happy. Nalini had got to know that the entire royal family had gone to meet Acharyaji.
Nalini said, “Princess, you met Shikhi?”
“With quite ease! Without saying anything, mother asked Acharyaji for permission to meet Monk Shikhi. So, we all went and met him. I admired him till my heart felt content. But what did you do? Tell me.”
“I will take my brother to the park today in the afternoon. And then I’ll meet you in the evening.”
“But why will you take your brother with you?”
“A female cannot visit Acharyaji alone.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. And at night, women aren’t allowed to go there. Jain saints are very insistent and strict about this.”
“Why? Are they scared of women? Or do they consider women insignificant? Do they consider themselves to have a weak mind?”
“Princess, this is their discipline.”
“I will have to break this discipline, right?”
“No. I will come along with you”
“But what’s the point? You are also a female.”
“But I will dress up like a man!”
“However, it’s not possible to meet Monk Shikhi without Acharyaji’s permission.”
“Don’t worry, we will take permission. I will take you to your beloved. You think of what you have to do after meeting him.”
“Nalini, you are truly my loving friend. You will surely help me accomplish my goal.”
“Shall I take your leave now? I’ll see you in the evening.”
Kamlini’s love for Shikhi was pure. She had endless devotion towards the young monk. He was her God. Her entire life was revolving around him. But Nalini’s talks had shaken her. ‘Monks neither meet nor talk to women alone. They don’t look in front of women. I myself saw this today. He was constantly looking down. Well, Nalini will accompany me disguised as a man. So there won’t be any problem.”
She was like an innocent doe. She was unable to understand the difference between love and devotion. Love is not devotion and devotion isn’t love. Love is a bond, a relation, a connection. Relation is from both sides while devotion is one-sided. She had love for Shikhi. But this question never arose in her mind whether Monk Shikhi would have the same feelings. She was unaware of the decorum of monkhood. She was still thinking about Shikhi as a young man and not a monk. Shikhi was young, charming and brilliant. The love that Kamlini had towards him was not divine but it was filled with humanly desires. She had combined affection with physical pleasures. She had experienced sensuality in her body and she was drying with desperation.
In this situation, lost in these thoughts, the princess might have never thought that in this changeable world, love can also change and so can the person whom we love. She had been believing that affection is as deep and intense as an ocean. It is impossible for love to change. Affection has a relationship with the soul, not with physical forms. The connection with physics entities is attraction. Attraction is related to outer appearance. The goal of attraction is body that has been given a good appearance by nature. Affection is with the soul not with the body. External entities are subject to change, the soul isn’t. The connection with the soul is immortal.
She was doing a big mistake by considering her attraction to be affection. Her feelings towards Shikhi were attraction, not affection. Attraction cannot remain forever, it keeps on changing and vanishes someday or the other. Attraction has desires, desires are fickle. When the effect of desires reduces, attraction also fades. Then, desires arise again and attraction increases. This drama has been going on in the physical world since time immemorial.
Wrapped in its orange blanket, the sun was descending on the western horizon and ready to bid farewell.
Kamlini was standing in her balcony and waiting impatiently for Nalini.
‘Why hasn’t Nalini returned yet? Has she fallen into some trouble? No! Nalini is quite smart and efficient. She will come only after completing the work.’
It started getting dark. The princess went back to her room. She started walking in the room. She was constantly looking at the door. Meanwhile, Nalini entered. She was so breathless that it seemed as if she had come running hurriedly. Kamlini hugged her and made her sit on the bed.
“First relax then speak! Why have you come running?”
Nalini’s eyes signalled success in the task. Kamlini understood the indication.
“Mistress, everything has been sorted. I have found out the spot where the young monk sits to meditate alone in the afternoon. He sits under a tree about hundred steps away from Acharyaji’s spot. We will have to go in a carriage only. I will dress up like a man! We will have to tell Acharyaji that we are Shikhi’s relatives and have come to visit him from Koshambi! By saying this, we will get permission.”
“But such lies…”
“Princess, we will have to do this. This is the only way to reach Monk Shikhi.”
“Okay, Nalini you kept your promise.”
“Princess, you know how much I admire you, don’t you? I can put anything at stake for your happiness.”
“Nalini, I had and have full trust on you. But at least tell me how did you find out where Shikhi sits?”
“I explained everything to my brother and sent him. After worshipping Acharyaji and other monks, I asked him to move forward and ask some monk about Monk Shikhi. A small monk showed my brother the spot. Monk Shikhi was sitting there in deep meditation. My brother even asked the small monk if Monk Shikhi sat in the same place and at the same time everyday. To this, he said yes. Then my brother slowly left from there.”
“Great! But I am doubtful about your idea of dressing up as a man. What will people think if they see me with an unknown man? You wait outside the park only. I will meet you there directly. Then we will both walk up to the park. Since we are going in the afternoon, there will be less people present.”
“You are right. You come alone from the palace.”
“I won’t come in a carriage. I will come in a closed palanquin.”
“Okay!”
Both friends talked till late night. However, every conversation revolved around Shikhi!
