The pit works in mysterious ways

The reporter

Leslie, Ann, and Olivia were sitting in Leslie's office. Leslie had this far off look in her eyes, and then turned to the other two women to inform them of her genius plan.

"So I have a piece of good news. I've invited a reporter to come do an article about the pit behind your house." Leslie picks up the newspaper and shows it to the camera behind her. "She writes for the Pawnee Journal, which is kind of like our town's Washington Post."

"That sounds really good." Ann says trying to stay positive. Olivia on the other hand wasn't on board with it.

"Yeah, because the public meeting went well." she said in her usual sarcasm.'

Leslie choosing to ignore her sister, replied with the same far off look in her eyes and with the voice of a robot.

"Thank you, Ann. It is a classic strategy. The press is a weapon and you can use it to kill people or to feed people. You know, the beginning of projects are very vulnerable, and you have to make sure that you get a lot of press, 'cause the momentum of that can kind of keep it alive, or else it'll die. I mean, I'm sure you remember the Tucker Park Graffiti Removal Project."

—

"The Tucker Park Graffiti Removal Project was a great idea that just ran out of steam. We had removed five cartoon penises, not even 10%, when we were shut down due to lack of funding." Olivia explained. "Most of the penises weren't even anatomically correct." She shivered at the memory.

— 

~~~

In the conference room all the sub committee members were gathered around the table. They all stared blankly at Leslie as she goes over in detail what should happen when the reporter comes. Even though Leslie was the one most likely to break her own rules.

"Now, when the reporter gets here, it is vital that we all follow my rules about how to deal with the media. Rule number one, stay on message. This is key. All we need to talk about is the pit, and the fact that we're gonna turn it into a park. And that's it. Okay?"

"Leslie, you are the one that always breaks that rule." Olivia points out.

"Good point oh sister of mine that's why I have Number two... What? Stay on message again? Yes, it's that important. It's one and two. Stay on message and stay on message. Right? Stay on what, Ann?"

"Message."

"Great."

~~~

When the reporter did come in, Olivia made it her personal mission to stick to Leslie no matter how uncomftable, cringy, and angry she became. Leslie is her own worst enemy.

"Well, Shauna, this is our crack team." Leslie introduces her committee and Andy to the reporter.

"Hi, everyone." Shaunna greets politely.

"Tom Haverford, boy genius. Smooth like milk chocolate." Leslie goes around the deck introducing everyone.

"That's a weird way to describe me." Tom says mildly offended.

"April Ludgate, 19. Cool enough to be invited anywhere and choose to be here."

"My overqualified sister, Olivia Knope. She knows where the body's buried."

"And finally, we've got Ann Perkins and Andy Dwyer. They're the real heroes of this story. Ann was the citizen who brought the pit to our attention. And Andy is the citizen who fell in it."

As Shunan sat down at the other end of the desk, she reached into her bag and pulled out a tape recorder. Setting down on the desk and then clicking 'record'.