Sally's Face

(5)

Sal sat in his bed staring at the ceiling. His schoolwork laid on the floor left behind hours ago. Sal often got in his own head, spiraling into the depths of his mind. He often found himself dove too deep, his mind going out of control, unable to get out without assistance. Over the years he had found ways to calm himself before he got to this point. He has found ways of grounding himself, pulling himself out before he reached too far. Thinking too much about something, to the point where him thoughts start losing their sense.

This was one of those moments, he was too deep in thought and had to pry himself out before he couldn't anymore. He never enjoyed needing people like this, being completely dependent on someone, being a burden on someone. He often used Gizmo to aid in his panics but at this moment he was elsewhere, and Sal didn't feel like he could move to go see him. He curled in on himself and tried to focus on his breathing. He tried to place his mind somewhere else, on something else, anything else.

He was thinking too much about Travis, about how he had been acting, before his mind started to swirl around his worst nightmares started seeming like a possibility. Like Travis was acting like this because he was gonna break up with Sal. Or cause he's dying and wants Sal to have good memories. His chest hurt and his head was starting to too.

He focused on the world around him, the music in the next room, the smell of incense lingering in the house, the cat hair on his blanket. Everything around him helped keep him there, in the present, alive.

Once his breathing slowed, as well as his heart, he decided to take a break and continue calming himself. He sat up and left the room.

Todd and Neil"s room was nearby his, they had the master bedroom as they owned the house to begin with. Sal sat to the door for a moment, trying to listen in to make sure they weren't sleeping or fucking or God knows what else. The poisons thought of burdening them tickled his brain, he fought it. He softly knocked at the door. He heard a soft 'come in' from inside before he shakily opened the door. Stepping in he found Neil on the bed in pj's while Todd was on the floor folding laundry. Neil sat up in bed when he saw who their guest was, bookmarking the page in his book.

"Hey Sally Face." Todd has a small smile on his lips, he had stopped his folding, both of them putting their full attention on Sally 

"Hey guys you turning in?"

"Not quite yet, but soon. Everything okay?" Neil had always been very kind, Sal could see that the moment he met him, Travis did too. They are actually kinda friends now. Sal scratched the back of his neck as he thought for a moment, he knew there was a specific reason why he came to them and not Larry. He just didn't know if it was a weird reason.

"I-uh-umm. Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to talk-or ask you guys something--if-if you're okay with that." 

"Of course, Sal what's up?" Todd moved the half-folded pants off his lap all together. 

"I uh-I would talk to Larry about this but, ummm I don't think he would have the best insight being single and ya know...straight." Sal laughed to himself, Travis was right about that, he should have never believed his two single straight friends would be much help.

"Is everything okay with Travis?" Neil leaned forward and pat the empty corner of bed for Sal to sit on. And though his legs felt like lead, a comfy seat would make this whole thing less weird. He walked over and sat, crossing his legs, he hunched.

"Yeah it-everything's great I just- I don't know. He's been acting weird lately- and doing weird things and I'm kinda worried-but I also don't know what to do. I don't mind any of it other than the fact that it's just not Travis." Sal's words came up fast and jumbled, he didn't even know if he made any sense.