All in a Blur: Special Edition

Pep Talk

Steve wakes up in the lab, startled by the change in scenery and confused about the circumstances of his move. Nat, who was sitting in a chair by his table, walks up to his side.

"Where's Anna?" He asks, sitting up. Nat cups his shoulder trying to calm him down but he continues to worry.

"What happened? Is she okay?"

"Come over here, Steve." Nat says, walking him to the window, "She's right there."

He sighs and all of his muscles relax when he sees me sitting two stories down. Then he looks down at his arms and sees small lacerations, everywhere.

"Damn. You look worse than usual," Sam jokes as he walks past the room.

Steve chuckles at his comment and continues to inspect his scratches. Some of them just on the surface. Some below, shaded with bruised blues and yellows.

***

I toss a small rock into the pond and I listen to Wanda's thoughts as she walks up to me. I don't smile, I don't say anything, I don't even look at her.

"Steve's awake."

She sits down next to me and starts to fiddle with the pebbles like I am.

"I know. Thank you." I say and throw another rock.

"I heard you kissed my brother yesterday."

"Yeah, that's kinda why everything else fell apart.

"What does that mean?" She asks, prompting me to look at her. She's joking being offended on her brother's behalf, in an attempt to make me smile.

"I wish he was just a bad kisser," I say, throwing a rock, and then I lay back and watch the sky.

"Him liking me put my mind on a rollercoaster and we found out that I'm more like you than we originally thought."

"How do you mean?" She lays down next to me and turns her head to face me.

"Steve. That's my fault. I hurt him last night, with my mind. I don't know how to control my own thoughts, and I especially don't know how to keep others out. And now it's all manifesting in new powers. I don't know what to do. How to fix this. " I say, starting to get overwhelmed.

"Come upstairs with me. I want you to see Steve."

"Won't that just make me feel worse?" I ask, turning to face her.

"Sometimes you need to feel worse to feel better."

***

"Hi, Steve," I say, stepping into his doorway.

He's putting on a new shirt and struggling to do so gracefully, considering how painful the cuts are.

"Hey, messy." He says, making fun of me.

"I'm so sorry about last night. I didn't know what I was doing and I couldn't stop it. I feel awful, I didn't mean to hurt you-" I say, realizing I'm rambling. I blink a tear away and look at him, flushed and bright red. This is the most I've cried in the last nine years and while it's a relief to not have to hold it in, it feels so wrong.

"Hey stop. I'm fine." He says, reaching out to hold my shoulder and he cringes when his arm reaches out.

"You know, if you try to kill me one more time, we're probably gonna have to kick you off the team." He says, through a small laugh.

"Maybe you should kick me off." I say with a small, fake grin, "All I've done is mess things up for everyone."

"Well, you haven't exactly had it easy these last few years. No one blames you, Anna," he says, reassuringly

"Bucky's been in the same situation, and he's handling everything pretty well."

"Bucky didn't have a family to readjust to, he didn't have to go through that in his teenage years, and the only thing he's got to prove he was there is the arm. You are learning how to live again, you are getting used to having a brother and you're understanding your new powers. That can't be easy."

"They always said you made good speeches." I say mockingly, "Want to have breakfast with me?"

"I'd love to," he says.