Unexpected Love!

I love you.

"I am trying, I am trying so hard to get over you. I don't know what you have done to me but I just can't seem to let you go. Every time I look at you, I want to hold you, I want to show you how much you mean to me." Rohan speaks in a low voice, his lips brushing on Dev's ear sending a shiver down his spine. 

Their bodies are pressed close together, Dev's head is resting on Rohan's chest, he raises his hands to hug Rohan but hesitates midway and ends up tugging at the corner of his shirt with both hands. "Are you drunk?" Dev says, immediately putting his guard up and not letting Rohan's vulnerability sway his feelings. 

"You know I am not drunk, my heart is shattered and I can't seem to piece it back together. It really hurts, it hurts to see you every day and not be able to hold you, I didn't realize how strong my feelings were for you. I thought I'd be able to get over you but I can't, I just can't. I have fallen in love with you. I am sorry." Rohan steps back and gently lifts Dev's chin to make him look up at him. 

Dev looks into Rohan's eyes, they are moist and red, his softened gaze tugs at Dev's heartstrings, the pleading look in Rohan's eyes makes Dev want to drop down and cry in helplessness. He is confused, Rohan's actions this past month don't match the love and sadness in his eyes. "Did you also say this to the girl you were with that day at the club meeting?" Dev says, his eyes full of judgment and disdain. "You think I don't know about players like you? How do you think I feel when I see you going out with a different girl every night?"

"Why don't you tell me how you feel when you see me going out with a different girl every night?" Rohan says looking deep into Dev's eyes, trying to make sense of his anger.

"Disgusted, I feel disgusted," Dev says breathlessly, as Rohan closes his eyes and rests his face in the crook of Dev's neck.

"What else do you feel?" Rohan gently glides his tongue on Dev's neck. The tingling sensation and Rohan's hot breath, turn Dev's legs into jelly and his brain turns into mush, making him unable to think clearly. "Ahhh, what the hell are you doing?" Dev feels an overwhelming urge to pull Rohan in for a kiss but instead, he pushes him with force making Rohan stumble backward and runs away. 

Dev only stops running when he reaches the university gates, he closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths to calm himself down. Shame and guilt overwhelm him when he notices that his lower region is stiff as brick and itching to break free from his tight briefs. Dev hails an auto rickshaw to his home and darts into his room as soon as he reaches home. The first thing he does as soon as he gets into his room is unzip his jeans and lie on his bed to take care of his unwanted erection.

He closes his eyes and pictures Rohan's full lips mouthing the words, "I have fallen in love with you." Dev touches his own lips with one hand while he handles business with the other. His lips are parted as he fantasizes about kissing Rohan, tracing the outline of his lips with his tongue, exploring his mouth with his tongue, and letting their salivas mingle together. He imagines grazing his fingers through Rohan's sharp jawline and high cheekbones, kissing his pointy nose, and then moving to his cheeks, giving him wet and sloppy kisses all over his face. Dev's hand moves faster as he imagines Rohan getting rid of his shirt and exposing his muscles ripped beneath that taut skin and climbing on top of him, their shafts rubbing together. "Ahhhh!" Dev's heart rate finally comes down as he takes out a bunch of tissues and wipes himself. Dev covers his face in embarrassment as the reality of his feelings for Rohan sets in. 

"I can't let this happen. He is not good for me, I can't stray away from my goals, he will ruin my future. He is just playing with my heart like he plays with all those other girls, I can't give him the power to play me around like a fiddle. Stand your ground idiot! stand your ground! Your only goal in life is to earn a decent living and make your parents proud. You can't let your father be that family's driver all his life, you have to work hard and save money so that he can retire and live comfortably at home. Stop wasting your feelings on someone who is just playing with you because he is bored. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!" Dev accidentally breaks the nib of his pen as he stabs it into his journal repeatedly. He closes his journal and sighs, each breath carrying the weight of uncertainty, as if a storm, with all its raw power and turbulent emotions, is lurking just beneath the surface, ready to unleash its fury.

Dev did not go to the music room after that night and for the next few days, he only attended classes and went home straight after. He worked on the arrangements for the Goa Sunburn festival from home and even got permission to let Ishaan accompany them for the trip. 

One day before the Goa trip, Ishaan and Dev are hanging out in a cafe inside the university. They are going over the itinerary and Dev is sharing the details of all his responsibilities and tasks. As Dev and Ishaan are talking, Rahim and Rohan walk into the cafe, Rahim spots them sitting on the four-seater table so he waves at them and goes over to sit with them. Rohan locks eyes with Dev but Dev immediately lowers them and looks in another direction. Rohan's chest tightens and a sharp pang of pain shoots through his heart as he succumbs to the familiar sting of rejection.

Rohan goes over to the counter to order coffee for him and Rahim, and as he waits a wave of self-doubt washes over him. The palpable shift in Dev's expressions when he was talking to Ishaan versus when he saw Rohan's face makes it clear to him that he has been rejected once again. He had opened himself up and bared his vulnerabilities, but now all hope is slowly getting crushed, suffocating his spirit. 

"Dude here!" Rahim waves at Rohan to come and sit with him, Dev, and Ishaan. Rohan walks over to them and sits down next to Rahim, directly in front of Dev. Dev still doesn't look at Rohan but Rohan looks directly at Dev's face, boring into him.

"Hello, Rohan Sir." Ishaan greets Rohan but Rohan doesn't look at him, he keeps his gaze on Dev who is working keenly on his laptop.

Rahim looks over at Rohan and immediately senses that Rohan's mood has shifted, he looks at him gazing at Dev which makes him wonder if he is the guy Rohan was talking about all those months ago. The one who made him question his sexuality. Rahim makes a mental note to quiz Rohan about this later. "Hey Dev, everything set for tomorrow?"

"Uh, yes Sir, I was just going over all the details with Ishaan as he is coming with us to help me with all the arrangements." Rohan's eyes widen as he involuntary clenches his jaw muscles. Dev notices his reaction and immediately thinks that flirting with Ishaan during this trip would be a perfect way to deter Rohan's advances toward him and also settle his own heart. 

"Oh, so did they agree to sponsor him for the trip?" Rahim asks Dev as usually, the event managers always work on a tight budget.

"Yes, they agreed to pay for the flight ticket but not for the accommodation, so I just thought he could stay in my room with me as each one of us is getting our own room in the hotel."

"I am so excited, we could drink late into the night, and go out partying, it is going to be so much fun." Without hesitation, Ishann raises his hand to initiate a high-five with Dev, Dev also responds with equal vigor. 

"Sounds like you are going there for all the wrong reasons, we are not going to Goa to go to clubs and party all night, we are going there to perform for three days straight. I don't think you should come if all you are going to do is party and drink." Rohan's reply is laced with bitterness that could not be concealed. 

Ishaan's face immediately fell and before he could reply, Rohan gets up and walks out of the cafe.