Our Rebellion M.E

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I'm Spencer. I'm 17 years ols and live with me mom. My dad left to go to Africa for work when I was little, but he died a year later due to malaria. I have a life long best friend named Matthew Lee Espinosa. I've known him since I was 3 years old and we've been through everything together. I could never ask for a better friend.
I have had a crush on him since second grade. I've just never got the guts to tell him. I know that he doesn't feel the same way though.
I'm scared that if I ever decide to tell him that it will ruin our friend ship. But thats why I have to tell him. I need to confess before it slips out.