When Worlds Collide- Nyx x oc (Archeron)

φφ - φ

Madelaine 

    And I'm falling, and falling, and falling and there's a strange weight on my back. And I have an exam in political science tomorrow. And Eloise and I need to work on it together. And– and–

    I land. I think. More like a small child falling into a pool on a "funny compilation part 3" on YouTube.

     "Shit, fuck." I try to speak but my words come out in bubbles as I finally open my eyes and look around me.

    The water is surprisingly clear for some odd reason. Pollution should have taken care of that by now. I should probably be swimming, but it feels nice here.

    But also I can't breathe.

    Or as Eloise would have put it: "Skill issue."

    I giggle to myself or try to.

    I start to move my legs and arms to kick and swim to the surface but something is tying me down.

    Fuck, I'm gonna drown. Not a funny TikTok compilation anymore.

    I try to scream but I can't.

    Fucking shit cunt whore bitch goddammit prick motherfucker wanker twat.

    I reach behind me to see what is holding me down. It's fluffy? I dunno. It's hard to tell in the water.

    Wake up.

    Wake up.

    Wake up.

    This is a bad dream. Does this dream mean something to do with a smothering panic attack? I should become one of those dream experts on social media.

    Anxieties a bitch.

    So is crippling depression.

    And whatever else goes on in my head everyday.

    Maybe it's better to just die, even if drowning is a pretty shitty way to go. It would probably be for the best, the world would be better off without me. Everything I do is for others. I guess this will just be the final deed. Everyone will be happy after this. And that gives me some peace of mind as water fills my lungs and darkness clouds my vision.

~~~*~~~

I jolt out of bed.

    I think about it for a moment and decide that it might be nice for the ghosts to actually hear me speak every once and a while if they exist.

    Because that would be pretty fucking awesome and cool and neat

    Damn I really wanna become a ghost.

    "Oh thank the goddesses," is what I come up with

    Because of my religious traumas and my conditioned-to-be-a-Christian friend's constant nagging about saying "oh my god."

    Also because power to the women. No way in hell is someone who used he/him pronouns creating the whole-ass universe. Is that being sexist? I've always wondered about that. Kind of like someone being racist against white people. I guess technically it would be considered "stooping to their level" on some grounds, but still. Like the other day me and Eloise passed a Vineyard Vines and I described it as quote: "the rich white mom store."

    But I'm white. White as fuck to be exact. I took one of those ancestor tests to see if I have any non-white ancestors and the answer is nope. Turns out I'm Scottish, English, Swedish, Ukrainian, etc. Speaking of Ukraine. The Ukrainian Russia War. I feel like everyone kind of forgot about that after social media broke with the Johnny Depp vs Amber Turd trial. I'm team Johnny, obviously. Like the song "TV" by Billie Eilish on her most recent album, Guitar Songs. The 30th though– like come on people. That song is a goddess. Which brings me back to "Thank the goddesses–"