When Rose's Thorns Attack my Sides (But my Eyes Stay Trained on You) (Xingyun)

Ch. 21

When the fall finally rolls around again, the last of the dreary rainy season sent foggy days rolling into Liyue Harbor.

This wasn't made known until the pair was wandering around Liyue late at night for a late stroll just to talk, and the rain started to come down.

"Oh dear. Our little excursion may have to be cut short..." Xingqiu clicks his tongue in disappointment while holding his hand out to catch cool raindrops.

"Not necessarily." Chongyun says. He pulls out his parasol and holds it above his head, trying to keep Xingqiu dry as much as possible.

Unfortunately, the parasol wasn't big enough the gap between them, and Xingqiu's shoulders were already getting wet.

"Maybe I'll just stand closer to you then. If you don't mind." Xingqiu says. He holds into the parasol stick just below Chongyun's hand, and their bodies bump against each other being so close.

"Nope. I don't mind." Chongyun reassures him, but the blush still comes in anyways.

"Why is it always around him? I can't be contracting anything from him alone. That doesn't make any sense..." he thinks while the heat in his body rises.

"So anyways, I wanted to talk to you about something important..." Xingqiu starts while they get moving again. "My family has continued to get more adamant on finding someone to wake me up..."

"That shouldn't be a problem since you like someone though." Chongyun says. The words don't sound right to him and they feel funny to say, but he tries to ignore it altogether and grips the stick tighter.

"I do, but I haven't told them yet...and I don't want to tell my parents who it is either."

"Why can't you tell her? Even if she rejects you, she should understand why you had to say something in the first place." Chongyun points out.

"Oh Chongyun...I wish it were that simple..." he smiles sadly to himself.

"But it is! If you tell her, then you won't be asleep for a long time!" Chongyun says hurtfully.

"I can't because if they don't like me back then they aren't my true love anyways." Xingqiu explains. "And...I'm pretty positive they don't like me in the same way."

Chongyun looks at him from the corner of his eye, his hand unknowingly dropping to brush against Xingqiu's. "Why would anyone not like you?"

"What?" He turns to look at him with his face red.

"I don't understand who wouldn't like you like that if you liked them. Since, y'know, you're you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks genuinely. His amber eyes study him from under shade of the parasol, wanting to know his thoughts.

"I-it just means that just you being you is attractive." Chongyun mumbles, turning scarlet at the last word.

"Why is saying these things making me feel like this? I'm just complimenting him, right?"

"You think I'm attractive?"

Chongyun gets even redder if it's possible and completely holds his hand over Xingqiu's, stopping their little walk to look away at his shoes.

"I-I just mean that you don't have to try to be pretty or anything! You're always talking about books you like and chivalry and justice, and it's so easy to just sit and listen to you talk for hours, and-"

He realizes Xingqiu's face is as red as his and he quickly goes quiet, feeling incredibly embarrassed. "I should probably shut up now, shouldn't I?"

"No! I mean, it's fine! I didn't think it was weird or anything. I was just...surprised. That was all." Xingqiu reassures him down.

"Oh. Okay." He breathes out heavily before sinking against Xingqiu's shoulder, the heat getting to him.

"Can I ask you something weird?" Xingqiu mumbles into his neck.

His skin tickles and the blush doesn't go away as Chongyun nods yes.

"What do you think it would be like if you and I liked each other?"

Chongyun thinks long and hard on the question with his cheeks glowing. He'd thought about it many times before, and any time he'd thought about doing all that couple-y stuff with him, he was never opposed to the idea as long as it was within reason.

"I think it wouldn't be much different than how we are now, since we're already really close."

"You're probably right. But what about all the things that we don't do that couples do? Would any of that be different?"

Chongyun moves back a little to look Xingqiu in the eye, and Xingqiu swears he glances at his lips.

"Probably. I guess kissing you would probably be a first."

"Yeah, but how would you feel about it?" He persists. He inches a teensy bit closer even though he knows it's dangerous, keeping his gaze controlled.

"I wouldn't know unless I did it, but if I had to guess..."

His gaze softens and he tilts his head a little. "It would probably be really nice. You read a lot of books anyways, so you're probably a good kisser, and..."

His eyelids lower a little and the gap gets smaller and smaller until finally, fucking finally, their lips brush against each other.

And just as soon as they do, they push each other away out of complete and utter shock for what they just did.

God dammit.

"Oh my archons I shouldn't have done that!" Chongyun clutches his parasol tightly with an absolute look of devastation on his face.

"N-no! It's not your fault, and it's okay! I promise, I-"

"But it's not!" Chongyun yells before he quiets down, realizing they are still very much in public and he needs to calm himself.

"You like someone else Xingqiu. I can't just ignore that." He says, slowly starting to back away.

"You don't understand, I like y-!"

The words get caught in his throat and he fights to get the last word out, but his tongue refuses to form it.

Chongyun turns on his heel and runs out of the city, getting as far away from Xingqiu as possible and leaving him in the rain.

That day in the rain weeks ago had been one of the best days of his life, possibly combatted with the day he got the tassel.

And today, again in the rain, was one of the worst.

He clutches the tassel at his side to let it give him that same sense of comfort it always does, except it doesn't feel the same it used to.

"Why, my exorcist..." he runs his finger along the amber and through the fibers of the tassel itself while his eyes brim with tears.

"Why can't I just admit this feeling to you?"

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Written: June 12th, 2023

Finished/Published: July 29th, 2023

(Word Count: 1,123)