Life Support

Chapter 7...

Nash POV

I found myself at Jacks, banging on his door.

I deserve every mean thing Cameron has said to me, I am a terrible person.

He deserves the world and I gave him nothing but pain.

He deserves to be treated with respect, and honesty, and love.

I regret everything, alcohol has been the only thing getting me through.

But here I am doing what started this mess, the same place where the problem started.

Jack is a drug that I can't shake, and have no motivation to go to rehab for.

He opens the door,
And looks at me up and down.

"Back so soon? Come in"

I walk in, same place nothing has changed for 5 years except the bed sheets after I'd leave.

I walk up the creepy stairs just to join Jack in his bed.

I strip all my clothes off except my underwear, and lay beside him as he strokes my back with his hand until I fall asleep.

Cameron POV

How could he just leave Khloe in complete tears?

But I have to remember I was willing to leave everyone that night.

How selfish of me...but how selfish of him to cheat.

Take his own pleasure in someone else's bed.

Where my arms not open wide enough? Could he not talk to me like he could Jack? Did he find himself connecting more with Jack then the man he married?

Thoughts like this dread my mind as I sit in this dark room.

The moonlight peeks in just enough where I see our wedding photos, our honeymoon, are millions of trips around the world.

This makes me angry, upset, and I just find myself getting up, going to those photos.

I see out of the corner of my eye the baseball bat by the door, in case there ever was a intruder.

And I take that baseball bat and I hit all those photos.

Watching them shatter on the ground like my heart did.

Every memory I didn't want in that house, came to a shattering end.

The pain finally hit me, and I fell to the ground hitting my head on the hutch, and the world going dark.

I wake up beside Nash. I'm not certain if this is a dream or a joke.

He's holding on to me, looking at me and all I can think is....

as I sat beside you
and traced the veins along your arms like road maps with detours to places I have yet to be.

I realized that you are no longer home,
you've burned yourself to the ground
and I watched as the roof shingles fell to the ground like your face in your hands when things got hard to deal with.

How many times did I have to rebuild you before constructions signs were as permanent as the tattoos on my fathers arms?

I looked into your eyes and saw the foundation i've built myself upon has grown shaky and thin.

I wondered why you let me slip but it seems as if the foundation you've built had termites and water damage and yet you still built on things that you couldn't hold.

When you wrapped your hands around my waist to give my soul the love you couldn't feed yourself
I felt your nails dig in my hips
but my love what are you digging for?

I forgave harsh words wrapped around a tongue meant for love
tongues have no bones but can still break a heart
after all I understand where all this anger came from.

I'd be angry too with floorboards in my back and doornails between my teeth.

I forgave you for your crooked smile that gave away your intentions before your mouth could even open.

I tried so hard to rebuild a home with a shaky foundations, whose owner never opened the windows to take a breath of fresh air, only his recycled thoughts and disbeliefs.

Why on earth would you tear me down
when all I tried to do was fix this home.

I broke walls for you to build news ones, opened windows to let in new light but your hands were shutters wrapped around my neck and you couldn't stand sunshine.

Then when you realized this home was too much maintenance,
you slept with the friend and called me from a payphone to tell me that this was too much work and that loving me was a mistake
.....

But I forgave you,
and now this homes abandoned and the previous owners left the lights on.

"Cameron? Are you okay. What are you thinking?"

"I'm not thinking anything Nash."

I rip my hand away from him.
I can't do this. I can't think of this. I don't wanna feel. Not now. Not ever.

"Cameron, love me."

He pulls me in close, and held my hand, Holding me like he never wants to let go.

He whispers in my ear,

"I love you.."

Right then I knew, I'm stuck on heroin. The worst drug you can do.

And I find it kinda depressing, and I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying, are the best I've ever had.