Destined To Be

Orange of the Dying Sun

The last few days were tumultuous for Taehyung; Jungkook was released from hospital and was taken for psychiatric consultation. Jungkook, Jimin and Suga insisted that Jungkook will stay at some health care facility for the rest of the treatment, they could not do much in front Tae’s stubbornness. Though Jungkook was living with Tae, he could not get any chance to talk to his bear or Mr. and Mrs. Kim. From outside, he was looking fine, because there was no person who could see him crying all night, blaming himself, his life and his fate.

Tae feels comfortable when he sits by this window; the orange hue of sunset was melting in the pink and yellow tinge of clouds. The warm but fading light of the setting sun was pecking Tae on his neck and chick but he sat there like a stone.
Jungkook came to have a talk but he could not remove his eyes from the beauty in front of him. It is not just Tae’s sculpted features, but something else that made him look out worldly; maybe it’s the light of the setting sun, or maybe the reflection of love residing in his soft heart, made his face look serene. He sat beside Tae as silently as possible without trying to startle him.

“Do you need something?” Tae recognized the familiar prominent yet soft lavender smell hitting his nose. This is the fragrance that used feel like home, the essence he used to like the most, in fact, he still does. 

-“No, I need nothing. Just wanted to talk about something. I know you don’t want to see my face. But, please hear me out."

-There  is still something for you to talk about? Okay, blurt it out. Let me hear what a selfish person like you has to say after everything.”

-“See, I am the person who is responsible, me alone. Don’t take the blame on yourself.”

Jungkook understands why Tae is angry with him. He has seen Tae’s teary worried eyes in the last few days, he has witnessed sleepless nights when Tae tirelessly sat by his bed. Jungkook knows Tae was worried for him and therefore the sharpness of those words did not prick him at all.

A smirk came on Tae’s face but he chose to not reply. Jungkook did not miss it and hence he continued, “You know Taehyung, what is the worst punishment life can give you? It can take away your purpose. Life has done this to me, repeatedly. I have never known what love is for a long time. All I wanted was the validation of my parents, to whom I was never enough. The only purpose I had in my mind was to show my parents that I am capable. When I was rushing like a wild stallion without caring about the world, someone stopped me. It’s Jiu.”

The room suddenly felt even more silent for Jungkook, but he chose to continue, “she taught me so many things. She became my first in so many things. When she hugged me for the first time, I got to know how it feels when a heart beats near another. When she kissed me I felt so many inexplicable emotions, love, care and what not. Her touches and words made me forget my previous purpose and then everything for me started and ended with Jiu. But see, how unlucky a man I am! Fate again took away my purpose. Then Jimin hyung got sick and so many things happened so fast. I promised myself to live for my hyungs, not for myself any more…”

Jungkook’s words paused as Tae’s voice sounded like thunder, “Then while taking your life, where did this promise go?” Sarcasm was dripping from his voice, “I thought, I am the only one you betrayed, I am the only one whose promise you broke. But apparently, hyungs are also on the list. Okay, carry on.”

-"Then I found you and tried my best to not fall in love. But despite my hard resistance, I fell in love. My selfish nature ended up hurting you too. I could not save you from the misery like I promised. I ended up losing you. After you left, Hyungs started living their life away from me. I saw they are doing fine on their own. So you see, I again lost my purpose of living for them. When I got to know that you are fine, I wanted to mend the damages I did to your life. But here I came to find the damages are treated. You are happy and Mr. Park is taking good care of you. I felt so empty, purposeless that I could not think of anything else. I am sorry if my actions hurt you anyway. But I felt tired and life seemed pointless to me. So I chose to sleep peacefully. I did not intend to hurt any of you, please Tae, trust me."

A sarcastic smile came on Tae’s face. He pointed at the alleyway that could be clearly seen from his window. “Do you know how many people stay there, without a shelter, without food, getting humiliated when they ask for some food when they cannot endure the pain of hunger anymore? Do you know how many of them have not seen their loved ones in ages? Or lost them because they could not afford medical care for them? You don’t. Look at the white window, see the balcony at the front? Can you hear the sweet violin melody washing away the cacophony of the busy street? The person who tugs on the strings of your heart with music is blind. He cannot see the beauty of the world but do you think that has taken away his purpose? Your purpose has to be you, not anyone else. Jungkook, it is easy to give excuses and give up. But it's hard to recognize life as a precious gift and cherish it.”

Tears were streaming down Tae’s eyes by now; Jungkook could feel the pain as by now he has also understood what his narcissist self brought to Tae’s life. He could only imagine what would have happened to this person if he ended up dying. He could see the sorrow, pain shadowing the brightness of the sun.

The silence felt unbearable to Jungkook. He knelt in front of Tae to wipe his tears but Tae pushed his hands away. He isn’t ready to accept JK after everything. His broken voice spoke up again, “You have always chosen the easy way; to escape pain, to escape guilt. Why can't you just reflect on your mistakes and take action on them? Being on your knees, asking for forgiveness is fine but you know, what is better? Saying sorry with your actions. Begging for a second chance isn’t cool at all. Guilt-tripping people by harming yourself isn’t nice either. But proving you deserve a second chance is.

Therefore Mr. Jeon, set aside all your excuses. Find joy in simple things because you have life and have so many things that other people would die to own. So cherish them.

Want to heal my wounds? Then show me that willingness through your actions, not through words.”

Jungkook never thought it that way; all his life, his focus was him and only him. His love, his life, his hyungs and there was barely something he stared at, that’s not his. But still he failed to recognize the purpose of him life, which was within him the whole time.
This made him oddly selfish; he could never see Tae as an individual, as a person, but as his possession, his husband. Now he could see what was wrong.

He was about to leave when his eyes landed on a cute picture of Tae and Bogum on the centre table of that room. He smiled at it; today this young boy in front of him, has given him a precious lesson. He has taught him to love, love unconditionally. Not for himself, not for his peace, but for celebrating the emotion called love, to unleash the treasure his heart holds. 

Jungkook felt as if a huge burden was lifted up from his heart. He felt relieved. At this point, if Tae chooses a life with Bogum, he will happily celebrate it. Because if his love for Tae is pure, he will be happy to see his precious bear find his happiness. The violin tune, the last rays of dying sun, the newfound love everything just made him feel a wonderful emotion. He felt at peace, the peace he was chasing for so long.

Authors note: Hi readers, it's been a while since the last update. Hope this chapter get love from you as well. This chapter isn't anything exciting but a lot for two aching souls who need either reconciliation or a nice closure. Thank you for reading. Take care of yourself. Since it's 10th anniversary of our boys, hope you get to enjoy every moment of the day, the month, the year. (Yes, enjoying life is important). See you again on next update. Stay happy, healthy and spread a lot of joy, smile and love 💜

This is the very first fanart I saved of Bts. I don't know the artist, but all credit to them. I had this as my wallpaper for a while, so this one is very special to me.