Heliophile - Apollo

1.8| We Visit The Garden Gnome Emporium

Ana had been on this quest for less than a day and she already wished that she had taken her father's offer of going to his palace and getting away from all of the craziness of the gods.

However, it's nice to know there are Greek gods out there because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. Notice how she said Gods and not Primordials because so far the Primordials are actually better than the Gods and she'd rather not piss them off.

For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some divine force really is trying to mess up your day.

So there they were, Percy, Luke, Grover and Ana, walking through the woods along the New Jersey riverbank, the glow of New York City making the night sky yellow behind them, and the smell of the Hudson reeking in their noses.

Grover was shivering and braying, his big goat eyes turned slit-pupiled and full of terror. "Three Kindly Ones. All three at once."

Ana was pretty much in shock herself as the last time that she had heard of all three of the Furies coming after a demigod it was Thalia. One look at Luke's face and she could tell that's what he was thinking about.

They sloshed across mushy ground, through nasty twisted trees that smelled like sour laundry. While they were walking, Ana thought about what the Furies were saying about it and her eyes widened. She looked at Luke and Percy "I don't think the Furies were after you, Perce."

He looked at her like she was crazy as Luke spoke "what?"

Ana sighed "they were asking for it, not him which makes me think there is something about this quest that we are missing."

Whatever Luke wanted to say was interrupted by a shrill toot-toot-toot, like the sound of an owl being tortured. "Hey, my reed pipes still work!" Grover cried. "If I could just remember a 'find path' song, we could get out of these woods!"

He puffed out a few notes, but the tune still sounded suspiciously like Hilary Duff. Instead of finding a path, Percy immediately slammed into a tree and got a nice-size knot on his head. Luke and Ana burst out laughing which made Percy glare at them.

After tripping and cursing and generally feeling miserable for another mile or so, they started to see light up ahead: the colors of a neon sign. They could smell food.

The four kept walking until they saw a deserted two-lane road through the trees. On the other side was a closed-down gas station, a tattered billboard for a 1990s movie, and one open business, which was the source of the neon light and the good smell.

It wasn't a fast-food restaurant like they'd hoped. It was one of those weird roadside curio shops that sell lawn flamingos and wooden Indians and cement grizzly bears and stuff like that.

The main building was a long, low warehouse, surrounded by acres of statuary. The neon sign above the gate was impossible for them to read, because if there's anything worse for their dyslexia than regular English, it's red cursive neon English.

To them, it looked like ATNYU MES GDERAN GOMEN MEPROUIM. "What the heck does that say?" Percy asked.

"I don't know," Luke said.

Grover translated: "Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium."

Flanking the entrance, as advertised, were two cement garden gnomes, ugly bearded little runts, smiling and waving, as if they were about to get their picture taken.

Percy crossed the street, following the smell of the ham-burgers. "Hey ..." Grover warned.

"The lights are on inside," Luke said. "Maybe it's open."