｡ﾟ𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 | 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐫𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫 ﾟ｡

four, 𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐥

tw: mentions of suicide, self-harm, eating disorders, self induced vomiting and pot/weed/marijuana 

After that dinner that had unpacked trauma for the older kids, they both needed to relieve their stress, in the way that had proven to be helpful for the both of them this past year. Saige was sitting on the edge of the pool with her bathing suit on, the excuse of a night swim so that she could enjoy a blunt. She grabbed a white claw from the fridge as well, she figured why not? As she inhaled, she was met by the relaxing effects of marijuana. She almost dropped her blunt when she was startled by someone coming outside. She was relieved it was the oldest Fisher boy.

"So you smoke now?" Conrad asked as he pulled out his own joint and lit it. Deeply inhaling and exhaling a puff of smoke. The girl couldn't help but to think about how hot he looked as he exhaled. She hadn't noticed she was staring. 

"Like what you see?" Conrad smirked.

"Oh shut up. Don't flatter yourself." She took another hit and chuckled at Conrad.

"Okay, but Sai, why are you smoking now?" Conrad looked at his childhood bestfriend, concerned with the person she's become. She avoided his eyes.

"Uh, well, it started with the Deb ball. I was only nice to those bitches and yet they never hesitated to comment on my weight or appearance. They put notes that said stuff about me being fat in my coat, on my vanity, anywhere. So that's when, as you know, I got an eating disorder. When we got back home I was eating less and less and then one day, I was gagging myself in the bathroom when my mom wasn't home. I passed out. My mom came back 5 minutes later and called 911. They told her I was extremely underweight and then I was hospitalized for 6 months, on and off. Everytime I got better, I was just haunted by what those girls said to me and then it would get bad again." She stopped to take another hit of her blunt. 

"The story gets worse from here, so get ready." Saige chuckled nervously. "Um, you remember my best friend, Allie, right?" Conrad nodded. "Um, she wasn't doing the best either, but I didn't know because I was never there for her. I was too involved in my own shit that I didn't realize she was suffering. Then, one day in March, at 7:30 in the morning, I got a call. It was her mom. Allie committed suicide." Saige broke down at that last sentence. She hadn't talked to anyone about this yet. Conrad wrapped his arms around her as she was crying but Saige decided to continue the story. "Um, it broke me and I'm afraid it's my fault. Apparently everyone at school thought it was my fault too. I got tormented for it every fucking day. I went from being 'queen bee' to someone who couldn't get a spot to sit in class. Some dipshits thought that I was the reason my best friend committed suicide. And I've started believing them." Tears were streaming down her face. 

"Then I couldn't take it. I just broke down mentally. If anyone talked about Allie's death and how it was my fault, I would just lash out. I kept on going to the principal's office, my grades were dropping and I was cutting myself. Then I was hospitalized again. I had to go to the psych ward. It sucked. I was there for a month, so after all that I think you can see why I need to smoke." She lightly laughed and wiped the tears falling from her face.

"Yeah, I guess but Aige", (pronounced "age") Conrad called the girl by the nickname he'd had for her since they were little, "you could've told me, you know that right? You didn't have to suffer in silence. It doesn't help anyone. Trust me, I know." He said the last sentence quieter, expecting the girl not to hear. 

"Wha-" Saige was about to ask what he means, before Belly came out and interrupted.

 "Oh Conrad, Saige. I didn't know you guys were out here." 

Yeah right, you've probably been watching us through the window like the jealous bitch you are. Saige thought to herself and gave her younger sister a glare.

When Belly got no answer, she dived into the pool. Belly was a good swimmer, but not as good as Saige. It was the same with volleyball. Belly just gets all the attention from their family about it because she's the youngest. Saige is the oldest. Well, Her and Steven are but, Saige was born 8 minutes earlier than him. Which makes her the oldest. And her mother never fails to remind her. Which was also a reason why she started smoking.

While Belly was underwater, Conrad turned to Saige again. "I don't think smoking is the best way to cope with what you went through Aige. You should quit."

"Then why don't you quit." She smirked.

"What'll you give me if I do?" He exhaled and stared at the girl, who very suddenly got butterflies in her stomach. She got right close to his face, so close that if either of them moved forward they'd be kissing. She was about to suggest something until Belly rose from the water.... to speak to Conrad again.

"Since when do you smoke Conrad?" Belly said after noticing the joint in Conrad's hand. She didn't get an answer. "I thought you said smoking pot changes the way your brain processes information."

"So does your cell phone." Conrad replied, not looking at Belly.

"You said marijuana messes with white matter." 

"Do you even know what white matter is?" Conrad grinned.

"You said that our brains are still developing and that-"

"Oh my God Belly, do you remember everything he's ever said?!" Saige couldn't take her sister's nagging anymore. Then took another hit of her joint. Belly rolled her eyes and turned back to Conrad.

"I mean Conrad, you're the one that said that-that smoking's dumb and that real athletes don't put shit in their bodies." Conrad's face dropped.

"I said a lot of stuff, and I'm not an athlete anymore, so..."

"Well I still think you should quit."

"Yeah well, it doesn't really matter what you think Belly." Conrad said and smirked. Belly swam back underwater and Saige let go of the laugh she was holding in. When Belly got up from the water and looked like she was about to say something, Jeremiah and Steven came to pick up Conrad and Saige for the bonfire. She chugged the rest of her white claw and took the hand Conrad was offering her. 

Saige ran upstairs quick and put a pair of ripped denim shorts on over top of her hot pink bikini that she was wearing earlier. She put on a necklace, some bracelets, grabbed her shoes, then went downstairs and into Jeremiah's Jeep, taking a seat beside Conrad. After watching her little sister flirt with Conrad, she needed another drink. That smoke wasn't enough for her.