ink //sooshu

14]

soojin's voice wasn't firm enough to speak, but she had too much to say.

she had almost forgotten that she was holding the paper and only noticed it when a tear fell on it

"I don't understand.. i mean, I understand but maybe I don't want to"

"maybe?" shuhua's voice was even softer than usual, it sounded like her throat and vocal cords were clogged with honey

"okay, take that maybe off.
I don't want to understand, I don't want to listen, I don't want to realize... I don't.."

soojin's gaze was looking away, her eyes fixed on the nearby trees that were moving slightly in the wind

she was afraid to look at the girl in front of her, even though her mind told her to because she probably would never see her again

soojin's right hand rested on the youngest's thigh as she finally turned her gaze towards her, causing shuhua to flinch slightly

"...I don't want to lose you, that's all"

they stared at each other for a few seconds and soojin narrowed her eyes letting out a sob, leaning her head on the shoulder of the girl in front

and she cried.

"don't go away shu, i need you"

her tone of voice was shrill and broken, her hands were gripping shuhua's shirt tightly

"you are a part of me, the most beautiful part of me
you.. you are mine, I designed you"

or at least that's what she meant, between sobs only two or three words were understood

what made her cry even more was feeling the hands of the youngest lightly stroking her hair, realizing that it was the first and the last time she would do it

"jinjin, look at me"

she was patient as she waited for the blonde to muster all the strength and courage needed to obey and once she lifted her head, they stared at each other

"you know.. i never thought i'd find love after death"

soojin tilted her head slightly to one side, looking at her

"and i never thought the love of my life would be a nine year old girl who was just good at drawing"

soojin was confused, for a second she believed the girl was teasing her

as soon as shuhua smiled, soojin didn't think twice and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her closer

the brunette didn't flinch this time and let soojin kiss her easily

they had never felt so alive, so in love, so.. far away

they didn't want to break the kiss, soojin didn't want to but her need for oxygen forced her to leave shuhua's lips, limiting them to pressing their foreheads together

shuhua wasn't short of breath, she wasn't even breathing

"don't go..." soojin whispered softly, even though they both knew it was useless to say

"promise me you'll take care of yourself, soojin.
promise me you'll love yourself like I loved you"

shuhua smiled one last time as she stood on the branch with great balance

soojin fought with all her strength not to grab her, stop her and never let her go again

"goodbye jinjin"

shuhua in a short time vanished into thin air, together with the yellow and red leaves that flew due to the wind

she was alone

blue was gone, shuhua was gone

soojin looked down at the drawing, noticing that the face was gone too, it was like it had been erased

she did her best to hold back the tears

"goodbye shu"