False Confidence

Play Pretend

Azriel Huang

The hours of travel had bled together in to one bleary and terribly boring daydream of blurred colors racing by my window. When I focused hard enough, I could spot the cars whirring by. Some were red, some silver, many were black but throughout the extended time on the road, I had only glimpsed one dark grey car. It had zoomed past us, smeared into a streak of storm because of its speed. I hadn't even taken a good look at it, yet every stray thought had led my mind back to that streak of grey.

It was fast, fierce and a touch of ash, so foreign to the bright plains of grass it was surrounded by. It's not like I'd never seen grey before—but I supposed grey had a new meaning now.

"We're eight hours away from Northrun's Territory." Wren stated tersely, not looking back at me from the driver's seat. It had stirred me from my daze, reminding me of the tense air between both of us. It had been nearly two days since that night and yet Wren couldn't seem to bother looking me in the eyes. Every word he said to me was cold and short, he'd pretend I didn't exist if it was possible. I gritted my teeth, nodding quickly without offering up any verbal response.

I shuffled nervously, my limbs spiking with movement and energy out of no where. I was accustomed to the brain-melting stillness and boredom by now but there would be spontaneous spikes of unrelenting panic and vigor that would buzz through me like a drug. I clenched my hands in my lap, trying to relieve it by bouncing my leg. Then I began to bounce both of them. I bit my bottom lip, trying to stop the repetitive and petulant need to tap my jittery limbs. I darted my gaze around, hoping to find some visual escape from my shaking body before latching onto Wren's eyes in the rear view mirror.

They were cold and narrowed but had slightly softened with a hint of something else. I inhaled sharply, dragging my gaze away from his own. I patted a rhythm out on my lap, refraining from going even further and starting to whistle.

Wren grumbled something I couldn't exactly hear, the noise making me peek up but not cease my crazed movements. Jax simply shot me a worried glance before clearing his throat, glancing towards Wren.

"Perhaps we should stop for gas?" He proposed, his brows lifting with a casualty about him. Like speaking to Wren with such flippancy was no big deal. Wren opened his mouth before closing it, simply grunting in acceptance. I bit back a large huff of relief, hoping my gratitude was clear in my eyes when I met Ajax's. We continued to drive along the desolate road until we stopped at a rundown gas station, the car's wheels grating against gravel as it rolled to a stop in front of the pump. Wren and Ajax hopped out from the vehicle as I swiftly followed suit, scrambling from the back seat before I landed on the cracked pavement of the road beneath me.

I paced around, dirt kicking up beneath me slightly as I disregarded Wren stalking towards the the store of the gas station. Ajax merely filled up our tank, lost in thought with his hand propped up on the pump.

It's not as if I really wanted to talk all that much to begin with. I was in a whirlwind of emotion, a range of frustration to disgust battling for the forefront of my idled mind. I didn't know what to do with Wren's sudden switch up in attitude. He had taken to completely ignoring me to being borderline vicious. It's not as if I was desperate for his affections, I would've thought it'd be better if Wren had consistently treated me like shit.

This push and pull of hatred and then desire left me dizzy and overwhelmed. I hated the man, I hated what he had done to me, I hated the way he acted and I hated the way he talked. Even so, I couldn't find it in myself to hate the way he held me. To hate the way he kissed me.

It was vile.

I grimaced deeply, feeling a strange hollow feeling enter my chest. I tried my best to shake off the peculiar sensation, stretching a skittish arm over my chest. The former restlessness was being slowly leeched from my body with every movement. Even so, I wasn't satisfied with a few seconds of pacing.