If I Was Your Man

9 - Truth or Truth

Dante laid in the hospital sulking in pain. But also thankful to be alive.

"Hey, it's okay."

Dante looked up to see Selah holding his hand. She flashed a smile, and he returned it.

"I was so worried about you."

He shrugged her off. "Don't," he said gruffly. "Just... Don't." He then cleared his throat. "I don't want you feeling sorry for me."

Selah withdrew her hand. "Okay."

Dante closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to clear his head. Selah sat down on the bed and placed her hand on his back in an effort to console his broken spirit.

After a few minutes, Dante spoke. "Selah im sorry, for everything."

Selah hesitated but then nodded.

"You dont have to apologize," she began. "I'm hurt about everything that happened, but life goes on."

Dante squeezed her hand. "I understand the pain I caused you, Selah. Me being shot plus some other shit that went down helped me realized that. You deserved better and you being here makes me want to work to love you properly. I wanna lay everything out on table for you, if you'd allow me to."

Selah adjusted herself in the bed to face Dante. "Dante, it's okay. Honestly you helped me realize some things too, but I don't want to dive into that right now. I wanna be here for you. I don't want any bad news ruining that."

"It can't wait, Selah, you deserve to know."

Selah felt uneasy. Whatever Dante had to tell her was making her feel clouded with suspicion and looming sadness. Finally, she spoke up. "What is it?"

Dante sat up in the hospital bed as much as he could despite the pain he felt in his chest. He then began to tell Selah everything about him and Giselle's affair and how they really had a baby on the way. He also told her why he came running back, which was due to him finding out Giselle was playing him. Dante didn't even know if the baby was really his, but he knew there was a possibility.

The news had Selah at a loss for words. Her devotion to Dante fading as each minute ticked by. A baby? She could learn to love. Infidelity? She had dealt with. But the mere fact that Giselle had played him and he stuck beside her then came running back made her feel crazy. Instantly,  her mind began racing. Its like reality had finally settled in.

Nah, that couldn't be right Selah thought to herself. A child? Something she'd been denied to have since they were in college due to Dante's claims of not being ready. Though she'd heard come out of his mouth months ago, she didn't believe him, thinking he only used it as ploy to keep her from beating Giselle's ass.

That wasn't even the tip of the iceberg. The time she spent loving someone who didn't love her hurt to the core. It didn't even matter that he said, "You being here for me has made me want to work to love you properly." Selah wanted to scream to the top of her lungs. The pain she felt made her feel as if she was close to having a heart attack. She felt stupid for choosing Dante over Amar.
After all he'd put her through, she deserved happiness, but her dumb ass heart always chose what was wrong every time.

Dante watched as Selah coursed through her emotions. Then it finally hit him. He didn't deserve her. He never did. He was destined to turn a good girl bad. "Selah, I know this may not mean much to you, but I'm sorry. And after today I want you to live your life. Even if that's with Amar."

Selah laughed at his attempt to make things right. "It's too late for that. You fucking ruined that, like you ruin everything else that ever happened good in my life. Here, I was being treated like royalty, something I never experienced with you. The shit fucking kills me because as soon as I saw you everything good went out the window. I was ready to be treated bad just to be around you. You wanna talk about love, you don't know shit about it."

Dante listened to the pain spew from Selah. His days of playing and running game on her were over. He was faced with giving her truth or nothing.

"You wanna know why I truly don't love you?" Dante quizzed.
Selah only stared at him blankly. "It's because no matter how many times I hurt you, you stayed. I hated that shit. You might have thought it made me want you more, but it made me pity being with you. I saw your weakness, which is why I clung to Giselle. She was everything you wasn't. I'm sorry for playing with your heart ma, I really am, and I hope you can forgive me."

Selah continued to stare at him. Her mind was mush. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She thought she knew everything about Dante, but apparently, she was wrong. All these years, he'd been hiding things from her, things that might have changed everything. "So that's why you came back," she said softly. "You were looking for comfort in that weak girl you always took for granted."

"I didn't know what else to do."Dante uttered.

Selah looked at him in disbelief. He was really sorry. A sorry, manipulative, narcissist. She could see it in his eyes. Selah's heart toughened at the sight. She took a deep breath and finally gave him a forgiving smile. In that moment, she finally felt the hold he had on her break. Finally, seeing him for what he truly was. "I'm done, dante."

Dante could only shed tears, taking in Selah's glow. He finally saw the power she kept buried inside just to satisfy him. It was now that he knew he had a real one all along, and he basked in that before finally succumbing to the morphine.

The doctors said that it was a miracle that Dante was even alive. Selah wanted to believe it, that maybe there was still something good inside Dante. But she knew that ultimately, Dante was still the same selfish bastard that treated her so poorly. She just hoped that one day, he would change. But for now, she was choosing her for the first time in forever.

She rushed out of the hospital room, headed to find Amar.