A Place To Heal By Matt Foster

Answers I Sought

Here we are face to face finally and things aren't what I was expecting, not what I was hoping for,

I guess I didn't make some check list or meet some sort of criteria,

I was looking for joyous hearts so we could reflect on our memories, instead I was met with backlash and harsh criticisms,

Like you couldn't wait to see me, and say these things to my face that's been eating at you,

I left 8 years ago, and clearly you weren't happy with the decision I made and yet,

You say that you love and want whats best for me, honestly I don't see it, I don't feel as if your tone is genuine, honorable, or you're sincere with it,

The type of vibe that makes me second guess a decision in the back of my mind, I wanted you around for a lifetime,

Guess I was foolish enough to believe your thought process was the same as mine, and here I am once again on my own tonight,

You get bothered by my presence, everything I do for you is never enough and you treat me like I'm childish, I forgive myself for venting to the winds but I need some form of solace,

I took a journey just for you and yet you treat me like I don't even matter, so here I am at 2am with deep Intricate thoughts stacked higher than a ladder,

The sheer appearance of your arrogance, shows me that you don't even care and what's worse is my  feelings are valid, yet you've become ignorant,

So I push my emotions to the side and stand over my heart diligent, never to let anyone this close again, a hedge of protection is paramount,

Maybe I'll never love again, or maybe I'm just foolish to the fact I keep choosing the wrong one again,

I'm getting too old for this, opening my heart out of trust only to end up all alone again, I'm sick of this,

I want something different, a love that stays, maybe forever and a day, someone who'll be happy to love me, someone who'll never change,

Is there someone among the stars that would be proud to call me theirs? As a faithful heart my love for you would never fade,

Yet you've grown tired of me already and it's only been a few days, does love exist anymore? Or am the last of a dying breed?

Where the word "love" ends with me...we made such a contemplated mess of things, and I want to fix where we went wrong, so I ask If you could only bear with me...

Or is that too much to ask?, you were more than excited to hear from me at one point, now you treat me like yesterday's trash,

Some days I contemplate if it would've been better if I left you in the past, But it's too late for that...and it's not helping this,

Maybe what I seek and what you want are 2 different things...maybe we're on a different page...a different book, chapter...or maybe just maybe...we're not the same...

My love for you last as long as I live, but....it seems as if your love for me has already begin to fade...

- Matt Foster 2023©️

05/17/2023  4:44pm