Our Cruel Hearts

Chapter Six

Sweat beads at my forehead and slithers down my back, my hands and feet might just be bruised at this point. Nonetheless, I keep throwing punches at the boxing bag, the same way I've been at it for about two hours. After heading back to my room after the emergency meeting this morning -and the inexplicable scene with Griffin- I slept for the entire day, only waking at dusk. My body was nearly ravenous so I grabbed some cereal from the staff kitchen before figuring out there was a fully decked out staff gym. I've been here since. Every punch I throw resembling a fluttering thought in my head, and every sharp pain in my hands that arrives with a fresh bruise. This is how I deal with things, by allowing my anger to bubble over. Years ago when I found out Marcus cheated on me with Lisa, I spent roughly 12 hours in our home gym. Only leaving when I desperately needed the toilet. Now here I am again, beating myself up over something...something I can't quite discern. All I know is that these feelings feel fresh and exposed and delicate, much like an open wound, and I'm not at all sure where they've come from. I'm stuck in a state of emotional motion sickness and I don't know how to recover.

It is storming perilously outside and rain pelts against the gym's windows, each grunt of mine echoes through the barely lit and vacant gym. My fingers tingle from the cold, or possibly from the fact that I've barely bandaged up my hands when I should have gloves on. I genuinely wouldn't be surprised if the flesh on my knuckles has split and began bleeding. My only concern would be someone catching me here, after hours, fighting and training like an assassin. How on God's green earth would I explain that? A swift pain catches in my calf as I pull my leg back from a roundhouse kick, the pain sends chills up my spine as I collapse to the floor. I sit there for a moment massaging my calf until the spasm lets up and I get up for a breather. I'm adjusting the bandages on my hand while looking in the mirror when I notice a tall figure in the doorway behind me, I narrow my eyes in the mirror and realise who it is. Griffin stands there leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, with a lopsided smirk on his face.

"What do you want?" I turn and glare at him, not ready to deal with being near him right now.

"Just watching," He answers.

"Don't." I blurt out before turning back to the punching bag.

"Aren't you going to ask how long I've been here?" He sounds so sure of himself it makes me clench my jaw in vexation.

"Aren't you going to take the hint and leave?" I spit back. After a second of silence, after hoping he took the hint and left. I feel his presence growing closer, like a tangible weight on my chest when he gets close to me. He's standing right behind me now as I re-adjust the bandages on my hand just to have something keeping me from having to look at him.

"I'm sorry about earlier, Ayla." His hand smooths over the curls at my shoulder.

"Piss off," I shrug his hand off of me and he steps back.

"I was overwhelmed and hurt Ayla, and I wrongly took it out on you." He pleads, his voice low.

"I don't even know why you're apologising to me, you're my boss." I finally turn around to face him, "This isn't anything," I point between us, "I don't want special treatment, I just want to do my damned job."

"I didn't say this was anything," He counters, a slight hint of uncalled for desperation in his words.

"You don't have to Griffin, please just go," My voice breaks over those last words and I don't know why, this isn't like me, appearing weak isn't in my dna. I finally meet his eyes and they appear darker than usual, like a dark veil has been casted over them. They glint with something I can't pinpoint before his shoulders visibly drop as he turns on his heels and walks himself out. There goes the whole reason I've spent this many hours hitting a bag, imagining Griffin's face plastered on it. I grab my sweater and water bottle from the floor and let myself out of the gym, the headquarters are dark as expected but on my way down the hallway I notice light bleeding from under a half closed door. I've never been on this side of the headquarters until now so I'm not sure whose office it is. Each step I take is as light as a feather and I've gravitated to the wall, blending into the darkness like it's second nature. The door is a crack open but peeking wouldn't be a good idea.

I hear a grunt from a man, "Dammit, I told you to stay out of it and lay low for longer." That isn't a voice I recognise.

"Well, clearly that is out of the picture now." This man has a silvery voice, but it isn't Griffin.

"Lay low, seriously this time."

"Yes sir."

I need to put a face to at least one of these voices, this is what I was sent here to do after all. If I had any sort of mirror or reflective device on me I could catch his face but I left my phone in my room and don't carry a mirror with me to the gym.
I stand for a second, my heartbeat thumping in my ears as I practically hold my breath. I fill my lungs before I make an incredibly stupid decision- at least I'm self aware.
I lean into the crack of the doorway, just my right eye visible from their perspective. I'm blinded by a yellow light for a second before my eyes adjust and I notice Mr.Marbroi standing behind his desk with his attention angled to someone in the chair that likely sits in front of his desk. I can't see the second man since he's hidden behind the door.
Mr Marbroi lights a cigar and walks around his desk, he looks deep in thought and is about to say something else when he notices me, shit. I duck backwards out of the light and pray he didn't actually see me.
His footsteps approach the door and I'm weighing what my excuse for literally spying on him is. Each footstep is a mini heart attack, he finally reaches the door and only closes it.
I let out a deep breath that was caught in my throat before resting my head against the wall.

I'm screwed.

𝐇𝐢𝐢 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐫. 𝐈 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

𝐍𝐁!!
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟐𝟓𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐞, 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐲. 𝐈 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫! 𝐱𝐱

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 <𝟑