You drew stars around my scars

5

The next morning I awoke and the memory of last night flooded my brain. I got to wake up next to my best friend. I shook at the thought, amazing. I didn't deserve this. I don't deserve his heart in my hands. The sun was just slowly beginning to peak into the room. Illuminating Bucks gorgeous face and plump lips. I looked at the time, shit we better get going. I still had to drop him off at the car mechanic shop. It would look suspicious if I took him home and picked him up in the same outfit as yesterday, maybe a little more wrinkled.

"Buck" i hummed and lightly shook his arm.

He jumped back a little and then sunk back into the mattress.

"Noo! Five more minutes" he muttered

"Sorry, no can do. We got to go get ur car"

He complained a bit longer and then sighed. Pushing himself up and looking over towards me. Eyes darting between mine and my lips.

"Or I can just stay here, with you" he said as he licked his lips.

"You wish Bucky boy." I smiled "But if both of us call out people will start assuming"

He stood up and walked up to me grazing his lips over mine "let them assume"

I swallowed hard and handed him a basic gray shirt and blue jeans of mine. They were a little bit big for him, but it's fine. I did want to stay with him, but if both of us called out, after me basically eye fucking him all day yesterday. That would be a dead giveaway to this budding, relationship? I guess. I guess that's what you could call us. It feels too real saying it out loud though. If we're being honest we have been building this for years. From the moment we met, we have had a connection. And now I get to have him, to myself. I hope at least.
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I dropped him off at the mechanic and headed into work. Sitting in the employee parking lot, eyeing the light hicky on my neck. I know I probably left one on Bucks neck also. Oh shit. How are we going to explain that. Both of us end up with hickys after I took him home. Yeah. Sure, that will go over well. Shit. I'm screwed. I go into work, maybe if I don't think about it, if I act normal, no one will notice.

"Morning Eddie!" Hen says

"Good Morning" I reply back, a little too happy.
She glances over and the jaw dropping look on her face means she already had seen it.

"Eddie! You did NOT" she gets up and walks over to me.

"I did what?" I tried to play dumb.

"YOUR NEck"

"That obvious" I ask defeated

"No shit" she laughs

She grabs my arm pulls me over to her locker,

"ur lucky one of my friends always leaves her makeup in my car" she says fishing through a bag.

She dabs some tan cream onto her hand and runs it over the hicky. Patting it till it dried, then placed the tube in my hand. I thank her for the help.

"You are telling me everything. Spilling the tea over some drinks." She giggles. "Does buck have one too"

I flush pink. Answering her question. If she knows so well, does everyone else know too? I guess I didn't mind being gay in private, because I know I'm straight (except for Buck). But to the world? No I'm gay. I'm a full on homo and I can't have EVERYONE, thinking that. I felt sick and just walked away from her. As I turned I saw that worried mom look. But she didn't say anything more about it. I was glad, I didn't want to think about that.

-

After we all got off shift again, this time around 8 pm. As much as I wanted to run to Bucks, to kiss him, to leave him breathless, I had father things to do with Chris. And I had a "dinner date" with Hen. She talked me into it, and I needed to listen to a very openly gay persons thoughts about this. The homophobia from my parents, the Army, church. All was weighing down on my chest, and with me trying to fight back, it hurt.

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