More Than You Know [Mildred Pierce - Rosa Moline]

Not That Different

The alarm clock on my bedside table rang a bit too loud for my liking. It was brand new, and the tremendous noise that it made all but proved its newness. I sat up, scared half to death. I quickly turned it off in a slumberous state, rapidly putting my right hand on my chest as a way to calm down my beating heart. In time, the somnolence and initial scare faded away; and I ended up laying my eyes on the picture frame that was sitting next to the clock. A smiling Kay greeted me. "Good morning dear", I mumbled, with a melancholic smile.

It was six o'clock in the morning and I still felt worn out. Yesterday had been one hell of a day. I had finally moved into the apartment. Not only that but I also cleaned it thoroughly and bought some groceries to stack my cupboard with food and a few items that were missing in the kitchen. All of that work just downright exhausted me and I made my way to bed around midnight.

However, my bothersome fatigue didn't stop me from beginning my day. I quickly got dressed and ready for work. Unfortunately I didn't have much time left to have breakfast and barely had the opportunity to eat a slender amount of a bagel on my way out. As I was going down the stairs, I surmised that maybe it would be a good idea to knock on Rosa's door so we could go to the café together. So, I did just that. "Rosa, it's me, Mildred." I said, not too loud so as to not wake the neighbors. "I figured that we could go to work together".

I heard a faint I'm coming . As I waited for her, I fixed my coat before I walked outside, knowing that it was a very chilly morning.

Not even a minute later, the door opened. Rosa came out and was all made up. It seemed as if this was her normal. So far the only guess I made of her that turned out to be true, was the fact that she was never one to be seen without any makeup on. This time she had a beret hat on, with a buttoned up burgundy winter dress, a wool coat, stockings and, what seemed to be, comfortable heels.

"Ready?" Not a good morning , not even a hi . She looked up at me as she fixed her gloves, ones that I had just noticed as extra additives to her ensemble. I briefly said yes , and we left for the station.

On our way there I could feel myself shivering a bit. As a Californian woman, I wasn't very used to this cold weather and it presented itself as a challenge for me to get acclimated to it. I knew that before winter actually came, I had to stack myself with warm clothes to fight the frigidity that was to come.

As we finally made it to the station and settled ourselves on the train, Rosa pulled out a mirror from her purse and meticulously checked her hair and makeup. Not once before had I observed that this item was something crucial for her to have on her at all times. She always looked at herself in the mirror, which now and then seemed somewhat vain.

"I don't know how you manage to look practically immaculate this early in the morning. I barely even had the energy to throw some lipstick on." I commented as I witnessed her ritual.

"I'm very used to it, it's like second nature to me." She explained with barely an ounce of enthusiasm in her voice, as if she was simply pointing out something obvious. Then, she met my eyes, observing me from the top of my head to the tips of my shoes. "But you don't need to wear that much makeup, your beauty is natural"

I didn't expect such a compliment to come from her. "Well... I guess?" I looked down on myself, now hyper self-aware of my image after she analyzed my complete exterior with judging eyes.

"Oh come on, Mildred. Don't give me that insecure and girlish modesty. You know you're beautiful" She brushed me off, moving her curls to her side, avoiding my eyes, and putting the mirror back in her purse. Her abrupt honesty left me stupefied for a moment, not quite knowing how to reply.

Maybe there was some truth to what she said. I was aware that I was a pretty woman. But I never wore it like a pride badge. As a matter of fact, I was evermore confident about my baking skills than how I looked.