"Do you need any help, Dan?" I ask, standing at the kitchen door. I was in the living room with Phil and Tay, but I wanted to see what Dan was doing. Phil and Tay were busy talking about video games and I'd much rather come see Dan than talk about games (not that I don't like games, I just don't like talking about them).
"If you don't mind stirring the pasta over there you can do that," Dan says, waving around the knife he was using to slice some Italian bread. He texted me earlier, asking if me or Tay were allergic to pasta. I told him no, that we were not. Tay found it funny, but I thought it was sort of sweet.
"So," I begin. "How do you like Tay?"
Dan looks up at me, startled.
"Umm....Er, he's nice." Dan replies. "And you two seem good together...."
"Why do I get the vibe that you're lying and that you don't like Tay?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.
Dan's eyes widen and he begins stuttering.
"W-well....th-that might be because I don't like him." Dan finally says. He gives a nervous little laugh and I give him a small smile.
"Why don't you like him?" I ask.
"I'm sorry, Zo, he just seems like an asshole."
"Well, you might not be entirely wrong about that. He used to be an asshole but he isn't now."
Dan gives me a skeptical look. "Once an asshole, always an asshole."
"Dan, I'm serious. We've been back together for a week and he hasn't said or done anything mean to me."
"'Hasn't done anything mean to you'!" Dan repeats. "What did he used to do? Did he hit you? So help me if he did hit you, Zo, I'm going to go in that living room and punch him. I don't care if his arms ARE the size of my head!"
"Dan, calm down." I say, repressing a laugh. "He never hit me. He just called me names and stuff."
"Zo, why did you get back together with him?" Dan whispers fiercely, grabbing my arm and squeezing. He looks deep into my eyes and I blush before casting my head down.
"I don't know," I say quietly and shrug.
"Hey guys, is dinner done yet?" Phil asks suddenly.
"I just have to drain the pasta and stir in the sauce and then it'll be ready." Dan says, sounding angry. Phil frowns at Dan's tone but shrugs before going over to a cabinet and getting bowls out.
"So I was telling Tay about how we make gaming videos for our YouTube channel, Zo." Phil tells me as he sets the bowls down on the counter beside Dan and then moves on to getting silverware out. "He said he'd like to play Mario Kart with us-"
"No!" Dan half yells suddenly, interrupting Phil and making him jump.
"Um, Dan, could I speak with you a moment in private?" Phil asks Dan. "Out here in the hall?"
Dan and Phil leave the kitchen and I hear Phil whisper fiercely to Dan. "What is wrong with you? You're being rude."
"I am not being rude!" Dan says, not bothering to whisper. "If Zo wants to make a gaming video with us, fine. But not her boyfriend."
"We went over this earlier, Dan." Phil says warningly. Dan sighs and then they come back into the kitchen. I pretend like I didn't hear them, but they know that I did. How could I not have heard them?
Yeah, it bothers me a bit that Dan doesn't like Tay but there's nothing I can do about it so there's no point in getting upset by it.
Maybe Dan will eventually like Tay but if he doesn't then oh well.
"I'll help you set the table, Phil." I tell him as I take the bowls and forks from him. He follows me out of the kitchen with napkins and glasses.
"I'm sorry about the way Dan is acting over Tay," Phil tells me quietly as we walk down the hall to the living room where the table is.
"It's fine," I tell him as we stop outside of the living room door. I give a dismissive shake of my head and shrug.
"Are you sure?" Phil asks, scowling.
"I can't make him like Tay," I whisper so Tay won't hear me in the living room. "So yeah, it's fine."
I then go into the living room and help Phil set the table up. Tay is watching some random show on the television, but looks up to watch us set the table.
"Do you guys need any help?" He asks us.
"It's all under control," Dan says suddenly as he comes into the room with the pan of pasta in one hand and a plate of toasted Italian bread in the other. He also somehow managed to stick a bottle of drink under his arm.
"I just feel like I should've helped you guys do something," Tay says as he gets up from the sofa.
"You're a guest here, you don't have to help." Phil tells him reassuringly with a smile.
"We'll have to invite you over to our place sometime," Tay says as we all sit down at the table and begin spooning pasta over into our bowls.
"Tay's a really good cook," I say with a smile. "He makes excellent fish and chips. I've never been able to make them for some reason."
I think Tay surprises us all (including me) when he says, "Yeah, I'm a much better cook than you."
My cheeks feel like they are flaming from embarrassment. How dare he say such a thing? Especially when he wasn't being completely revelent. Just because I can't cook fish and chips doesn't mean I can't cook anything else.
I glance over at Dan and see that he's glaring at Tay. Phil has an awkward, surprised look as he takes a sip from his glass. Tay, on the other hand, is just chowing down on his pasta, acting like he didn't say anything wrong.
"That was a mean thing to say," Dan finally says, causing Tay to look up. I blush an even deeper red.
"'Scuse me?" Tay asks, frowning slightly.
"I said, that was a mean thing to say to Zo." Dan says. "About her not being able to cook. I'm sure she's an excellent cook."
"Each to their own," Tay says with a smile. But the smile doesn't reach his eyes, which are beginning to look angry.
"It doesn't matter," I speak up, feeling like there's going to be an argument. "Really."
Tay looks over at me and I can already tell what he's going to say when we leave Dan and Phil's. He's going to tell me he doesn't want me to come back over and visit them anymore. There will probably even be a whole big argument over it too.
The rest of the meal doesn't go smoothly. In fact, it's very awkward. Phil tried to keep a pleasant conversation going but none of us wanted to talk. When dinner is finally over, Dan goes to his room.
"I'll help you with the dishes, Phil." I say as stand up from my seat. I feel on the verge of tears and my hands are shaking.
"Oh you don't have to," Phil says as he gathers all the dishes together.
"I don't mind," I tell him as I pick up some dishes.
"I'm going to get some fresh air, darling." Tay says and kisses my cheek before heading out the front door with coat in hand. Phil and I head to the kitchen and wash dishes quietly for a few minutes.
"I'm sorry dinner was so awkward," I tell Phil suddenly. "It's my fault."
"It's not your fault," Phil says. "Don't blame yourself. It's nobody's fault."
My only response is a sigh. We soon finish the dishes and I ask Phil if it's all right if I go to Dan's room to tell him bye.
"Yeah, just knock first." Phil tells me, nodding. I then head to Dan's room, going up the many stairs that I didn't think a apartment could have. I finally reach his door and knock lightly.
"Dan? Can I come in?" I ask.
"Sure," Dan replies. I open the door to find him sprawled out on his bed, laptop open to Tumblr.
"I came to tell you bye, I'll be leaving in a couple of minutes." I explain.
"I'll see you later then, I guess." Dan says, not taking his eyes off his computer screen. I bite my lip, expecting more of a goodbye than that. He doesn't say anything though, just continues to quietly scroll through Tumblr.
"Bye then," I say and then leave, closing the door behind me. I go back downstairs to find Phil and Tay talking. When I hit the last step Tay helps me into my coat.
"Bye, Phil." I tell him as I give him a good hug. "Thanks for inviting us over to dinner."
I give his cheek a kiss and then Tay and I leave. The cab ride home is quiet, neither one of us saying anything. I keep expecting Tay to lash out and start yelling. Telling me that I'm not allowed to go back to Dan and Phil's. But he doesn't say a word. He doesn't even say anything about what Dan said. Even when we get inside my apartment and start getting ready for bed he doesn't say anything.
But I watch Tay as I pull the covers down on the bed. He looks tense. His bare back shows off tense muscles and his shoulders are squared. When he turns to the side I see his jaw is locked, the muscle twitching every so often. The last time I saw him look like this was when we'd argued. I don't even remember what the argument was over, something stupid probably.
We get in bed, he gives me a goodnight kiss, and then turns over on his side. But what he says right after I turn the light off makes my stomach sink.
"You're not allowed to go back and see Dan."
I mumble an "okay" in response and turn over, fighting the tears that spring to my eyes.A/N: So I'm thinking about maybe starting a book of Dan and Phil imagines or preferences. Or maybe even just a random Dan and Phil book (not a Phan book though). I'd also like to write a Phil fanfiction but maybe I'll write that after I finish my Danfiction.
And I know not many people are reading this book but it's fun to write so if I enjoy writing it then that's all that matters.
Anyway, for those of you who do read this story: thank you.
XO, Gatsby1925.
YOU ARE READING
Can I Be Your Number One? (Dan Howell aka danisnotonfire Fanfiction).
FanficZosia was just walking along when she bumped into the YouTuber Dan Howell. She has no clue who he is because she doesn't watch YouTube, but Dan wants to get to know more about her. Will they become lovers or will someone from Zosia's past try to kee...