The Perils of Love and Courtship

Chapter 17

"How did you do it?" he says, storming into the morning room. "How did you marry Geralt? You value your independence as much as I do. You're ambitious, driven, talented. I know that you had dreams about becoming a famous musician. How could you give that all up for an alpha? How is it that you ended up here, tending a family and doing--" he shudders-- "embroidery."

The other omega looks up from his needlework, an eyebrow raised. "Because I love him," he replies simply.

"But your dreams! Your independence! Every action you take is now subject to the approval of your husband. You're not just his mate, Jaskier, you're literally his."

Jaskier looks at Lambert for a long moment, then places his needlework off to the side. "Let me make one thing perfectly clear," he says, "I haven't given up anything. I am my own person and I make my own choices. I decided to wait on my career as a musician-- not because Geralt chose that for me, but because I wanted to be there for our daughter as she grows up. And I am not unhappy with my life, Lambert. I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about it like it's something you found smeared across the bottom of your shoe."

"I-- you're right," Lambert says, feeling rather guilty. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I just..."

"You're at war between what you want and what you feel you're allowed to want." His brother-in-law shakes his head, and pats the spot on the chaise next to him. "Have a seat, Lambert. I had a feeling the two of us would have this conversation eventually."

Lambert joins him on the chaise and Jaskier turns in his seat so that they're facing each other. "You hate being an omega, don't you?"

"Of course I do." Although he's sure Jaskier doesn't actually need the answer.

His brother-in-law hums in agreement. "It's shit sometimes," he admits. "I used to hate it too, you know. Still do on occasion."

"But you're so good at being one."

Jaskier is everything that Lambert is not; pretty, elegant, well spoken. He's proficient in all the accomplishments expected of their subsex and when Jaskier dresses in all the frills and finery that's popular, he actually looks good. Furthermore, he has a husband of high rank and a beautiful baby girl. He's a doting husband and loving parent. Jaskier is everything that Mamas tell their omega children to strive for.

"Just because I'm good at playing the part doesn't mean that I don't experience all that comes with it," the other man reminds him. "Have I ever told you the story of my engagement before I met Geralt?"

Lambert shrugs. "Bits and pieces over the years. Never the full thing though."

The musician hums, drumming his fingers over his knee. "Like you, I never had much interest in finding a match during my first season. I didn't want an alpha. I wanted to focus on my music. My parents, of course, couldn't have that, and so when the season ended and I had nary a suitor, my father drew up in agreement with an old friend.

"They thought that since we shared common interests it would be a good match. And Valdo was nice enough at the beginning, though I never liked him the way he liked me. But after we were engaged he became... demeaning."

Jaskier shakes his head. "The things he said to me sometimes made my skin crawl. He didn't see me as a person-- to him I was just a hole to fuck and a womb to bear his children. Valdo's mother apparently died from an illness when he was young, but there are rumors that the Viscount beat her to death. His three older brothers turned out just like their father, and I'm sure Valdo would have too, given time. You know they all had a bet on who could sire the most heirs?" The omega laughs, but there's no humor in it. "All of their mates died in childbirth after having six or seven or eight children. That likely would have been my fate too had I not found Geralt; locked away from the world, beaten and bruised and kept pregnant until I died."