Nothing in this world could make this moment certain. Not even a priest, a pastor, a monk can even guess what is it be like: falling to Bryan.
I was wondering for the past two years jumping from one job to another. And in every new environment, I was betrayed, lied and confessed to. The latter seemed pleasurable to hear for a few but not for me. Either they wanted a hand lady or a mom but neither of them could never get enough of my best nor could dwell with my worst.
Not until I met him. I met Bryan. And it was during this calm yet surreal interview.
Bryan: How are you?
Me: Great. Feeling better than ever.I never realized how much it took me to notice that I just had the longest time to stare a guy. Gladly, he opened the folder, attach in it is my portfolio which somehow brings me back to reality. He asked me about discourse analysis and I answered. And he repeated the question and I answered the same thing again. He asked again the same question and I frustratedly answered the same respond. It was infuriating how he can delight and irritate me at the same time. No wonder he is different.
Bryan: So, why did you choose our University?
Me: (I am somehow hesitant to mention that it is due to divine intervention but I still did. ) I have been jumping from one job to another especially how impulsive am I back then. However, God called me to serve this university. He called so I answered.He paused for a second. And incoherently, he jumped to the next question.
Bryan: What would you like to be ten years from now?
Me: (I was thinking that this might sound unprofessional but I still responded based on my reflex and instincts.) I have been planning my life since I was in High School. I was still planning after I graduated in College. But, not all my plans would actually lead me to this. So, if you are asking me to what I want to be like ten years from now, I do not know. I might change. But, I am hoping it is for the betterment.
Bryan: But there is always competition.
Me: I know but God promises me not to be afraid as long as I am following His will. He will lead me to the top.
Bryan: Can you start by Monday?I was quite startled with his indirect notification of me getting the job. But, it surely did make me smile. I thought it was the end of the interview but he suddenly shared his beliefs about God. He considers Him as a supernatural force that controls the universe. He then added, "like a super being." I was very fascinated how our discussion came into this. It might be a blessing in disguise. But not for long did I realize. That something is not right: the way he flips his hair from left to right. I might be thinking too much.
Suddenly, a friend of him arrives knocking as if it is the end of time. They exchanged hellos but they slightly patted each others' back to express their goodbyes.
I was terrified. Feeling the radiant warmth of their intimate exchanges can never be an everyday scene in my lifetime. Before they realized my presence, I stood and somehow was sneaking from behind. Hastily, I hope I could run. But, he called my attention saying, "See you on the 13th."
A heavy gushing of air had twisted my spine of emotions. I thought it is just an oracle but somehow a false miracle.
Me: How can my heart beat for him? It can't be. He is gay.
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