The Stars on the Staircase

Impending and all Consuming

~+~ Letisha's Disappointment~+~

When someone is angry, the first horrifying possibility is them yelling at you, telling you what you did wrong, how you've hurt them, perhaps leading to a giant row. A week had passed since McGonagall had found out the length of my deceptions. No yelling had occurred, instead a shroud of silence met my ears. I found myself wishing the other teachers would yell at me. Instead I died a little bit more every time I made eye contact with Filius and he just looked away. I was completely frozen out of the teacher's inner circle.

Sadder yet, the bearer of the bad news was so frequently Letisha, who had been bravely sworn into the secret keeping circle with the rest of the staff, and now was taking on greater responsibilities than healing potion distribution.

"It's not that... that they hate you... just that they think it would be better to keep you away from the effort going forward, as it is unclear now... oh how did she say it..."

"It's okay, Letisha, you don't have to tell me." I put my eyes back down to the pile of tests for Professor Vector. I don't want her to struggle with repeating to me the exact way that McGonagall had announced my departure from the good books. I was still sworn into the secret keeping circle, and as such Letisha could allude to the group and the fact that meetings have happened but could not repeat their contents verbatim to me unless it was something I already knew about. I already knew about my own dismissal.

"Flitwick - he... I...Oh shit I can't make my mouth say it."

"That's the secret keeper keeping your tongue for you. So don't bother trying. Answer me this; are you still brewing in my office? Am I still fetching the supplies for this potion or does the tabby wish me to be hands off?"

"Plan is to - to- shit... the plan is until... this is annoying! No one said I couldn't trust you. Why can't I talk to you?" The usually verbose Letisha scoffed and groaned as the secret keeper's magic made her get tongue tied every few words.

"Listen..." I sigh and set down my quill. "Minerva does not want me to hear new information, therefore you will not be telling me. If they didn't say you can trust me that means I am not to be trusted. Anyone who is in any way doubtful, gets classified as no-gos. So focus on the single word answer to the following question. Am I going to the store tomorrow to buy more ingredients for the healing salve?"

She tries to give the full explanation and no sound comes out. Eventually she struggles out a "Yes."

"Alright. So I am going to continue to purchase ingredients for you and provide interference so that you can brew in this room safely until I am informed to stop, alright?" I ask, she nods. "Alright. Go for it, and I'm here if you need me."

"Is it my fault?" She asks after a moment of pretending to look through her bag.

"Sorry?" I ask, I'm not sure what she meant at first.

"Is it my fault you're kicked out?" She asks, toying with the closure on her bag.

"Oh... um... please don't think about it like that. I'm an adult, and I got caught in my own lies, it really isn't your fault they came to light." I tell her earnestly. Nodding as if I could nod away any guilt she might carry about getting me found out.

"So... how long have you and he been...whatever you are?" She can't hold in the curiosity nor keep the disgust out of her question.

"Several years." I answer frankly. She deserves truth, free from limitations and I respect her enough not to attempt to swear her to secretary on the matter.

"That's... I can't even imagine...he's so... you're so... fun."

"He is not so...severe when you really know him... he's quite different than he seems." I always tread lightly on talking about him. While I can't lie, I can allude to the fact that I really care about him and that he is softer with me.