TW: depression, SH.
This poem is about the hope that outshines the darkness.
Once upon a time
I thought I wouldn't live
To see the next morning
But I did.
Once upon a time
I thought the only way to escape
The desperation that I felt
Was to escape life.
Once upon a time
I thought that what I wanted
More than anything else
Was to escape life.
Once upon a time,
Someone told me
"Just wait it out,
See if it's better in the morning."
Once upon a time,
They were right - i fell asleep,
The next morning dawned,
And I felt at peace.
Once upon a time,
That was my motto
From then on
"See if it's better in the morning."
And once upon a time
Even though I hurt myself
To help myself
I stayed alive.
Once upon a time
I conquered it.
Not the shouts of victory
But a solemn survival.
Once upon a time
Things got better
Brightened day by day
Until I could really smile again.
Once upon a time
Turned into once upon a time
And the grief was a memory
Something I looked back on.
But then it wasn't.
Once upon a time
I recognized its coming.
The numbness and despair
Sinking into my soul.
And even though I tried so hard
It had been so long, after all
I picked up that old friend
And carved the numbness into my skin
And I cried to myself,
I felt that I had failed,
That I would never heal,
No matter how long I worked at it
And wondered if it was even worth it
When the pain would just keep coming back
Again and again
Like an infinite loop.
But then I realized.
Once upon a time
I started climbing
A spiral staircase
Always coming back around
Once upon a time
I decided to start trying
And even though I keep coming back around
I'm always a little higher than I was last time.
Once upon a time
I decided to keep climbing
Through the dark patches
And back into the light
Once upon a time
I decided I wanted to stay
Not to escape,
But to experience life.
And I lived ever after.
