You Must Remember This

Chapter 43 - Coming together

Wakanda, August 12, 2016

Something was happening. Bucky realized it the moment he saw Steve disappear into the bathroom. He caught a flicker of surprise and shock in Natasha's expression just a few moments after she put her earpiece in. His was nowhere to be found, so he couldn't listen in. Whatever. It's not like he could do anything. He was stuck in this godforsaken room for another two days, thanks to Steve and Shuri. 

Bucky moved, trying to get into a better position, but the restraints weren't making it easy for him. Suddenly, his hand touched Evelyn's journal. He looked down, heart-rate picking up at the sight of it. The restraint on his arm was far above the elbow, with a stretchy band for movability, so there was nothing impeding him from holding the journal close enough to read, yet... 
Steve's words echoed through Bucky's mind. So far, Evelyn hadn't once mentioned she'd loved him, yet Steve appeared convinced of that fact. He didn't remember her telling him anything about it either, but then again, he'd only recently recalled his own feelings for her. Was there really something in the next pages that revealed she loved him back? Steve'd mentioned some personal stuff, so... maybe? 

But how? How could she love me after I...? 

He closed his eyes, willing the memories to surface. Images fluttered past like butterflies, but nothing stuck. Bucky grunted in pain and annoyance when the by-now-familiar stabbing in his head flared up again. Zola was damn lucky he was six feet under, else Bucky would put that miserable craven through the same thing he had to endure. See how that son of a bitch liked it. 
Once again, the diary drew his attention, luring him in with Evelyn's siren voice. Bucky reached out, his hand trembling as he hesitated only the briefest second. He then glanced through the glass screen into Natasha's room. Steve was once again seated with his back to him, while Natasha held a glass of water to her lips. Bucky rolled his eyes. Could they be anymore obvious? 

Not your problem right now, Barnes. Focus. Like Steve said, you owe it to yourself and Evelyn. Especially Evelyn. 

With a deep breath, Bucky opened to journal to the last page he read. Tears threatened to overtake him again as he scanned the words, but he swallowed them down. Evelyn had. So should he. 

𝙸𝚝 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝. 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚒𝚖 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚎. 𝚈𝚎𝚝 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚜... 𝙸'𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎. 𝙷𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘, 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚒𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚎. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎. 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚞𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎, 𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚎𝚙𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚜. 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑. 𝙷𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚎𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 — 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚠 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚜 — 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗, 𝙸 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎. 𝙼𝚘𝚛𝚎... 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕.
𝙰𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢, 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚢. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚞𝚐𝚜 𝚉𝚘𝚕𝚊 𝚐𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚙𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐. 𝙾𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚗𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚡 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝙽𝚒𝚔𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚒 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚋𝚕𝚞𝚛. 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛. 𝙾𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝙴𝚡𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝙸 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜, 𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚊 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚍𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔.