Inside The Storm

Chapter 11

⚠️TW for substance abuse, self harm, disordered eating, self harm, abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, and more. Take these seriously!⚠️

July 9th, 2023

Claire's POV:

"NO MER!!! I NEED TO SEE HER NOW!!! SHES OBVIOUSLY HURTING AND IM NOT THERE FOR HER!!! SHE THINKS NO ONE CARES ABOUT HER AND I NEED TO SHOW HER I LOVE HER!!!" Amelia screams as I lay on the hospital bed with my eyes closed, trying to play asleep after hearing that confession.

I hear her run into my room and pull and chair up to my bed. "Claire are you awake?" She whispers gently. I turn my body and open my eyes dramatically, acting as if I've just woken up. "I'm so sorry honey." Amelia says placing a hand on my cheek.

"Sorry?" Why is she sorry? I'm the one who just failed to kill herself. Again.

"I'm sorry because I love you and you're obviously hurting and I haven't been here. I'm so sorry Claire I should have been here for you. You've had such a hard life and you don't deserve to hurt anymore. I love you Claire." She says wrapping her arms around me neck, embracing me in her arms.

"I'm sorry Amelia. I love you too." I say wrapping my arms around her, finishing the hug. My eyes start to well as I burry my face in Amelia's dark blue scrubs.

August 25th, 2023

It's been about two months since my attempt and I'm sitting alone in my room at 2 AM. Ever since July Amelia has been watching me like a hawk and the only time I can breathe is at night once she's gone to bed. I try to fight the urges to destroy any visible skin with the razor which I've added back to my phone case.

I haven't done anything yet, even though I want to. Every time I close my eyes I imagine blood dripping down my arms into a puddle on the carpet. Are you up? Burst across my phone, lighting up my dark room. I pick it up to see Maria texting me as if she could read my thoughts. Maybe, hoping to stop me. Maybe, hoping to lend me company.

Yeah I respond blankly. Good cause I'm outside your window. She replies within seconds. I dart out of bed and rip open the sheer sheets guarding me from the moonlight. Maria stands outside, her teethy grin shining through my window. I open it quickly and usher her in before putting a finger to my lips to encourage her to be quiet.

"Why did you come?" I whisper out.

"I missed you." She says placing a hand on my cheek and leans in to kiss me. Her lips meet my gently and our body's meld together as if they were meant for each other. "Wanna sneak out?" She whispers into my ear. My body feels electrified with her question.

"Of course." I say darting to my dresser changing my clothes. I pull my shirt over my head as Maria admires my body riddled in slashes and cuts. I slide a hoodie and jean shorts and take her hand before jumping onto the grass, freedom.

We interlock fingers and begin walking towards the street. "So what do you want to do?" I ask looking into her innocence eyes.

"I just wanna walk. I just want to be with you." She says laying her head on my shoulder. I just want to be with her too. I haven't seen her in person since the day I got out of the psych ward. I think Amelia thinks Maria is the problem. I think it's the exact opposite. Maria is the only reason I'm still here.

"I'm ok with that. We can walk forever." I lay my head on hers and throw an arm over her, holding her closer to me.

We walk for about 20 minutes until we reach a small park. Since it's almost 3 AM, we've got it to ourselves. We take a seat on a small bench and Maria wraps her arms around me as she keeps her head on my shoulder.

"Are you tired hun?" I say running my hands through her hair.

"Nooo." She groans into my chest. I giggle at the irony as I pull her closer.

"It's ok you can sleep a little. I'll protect you." I say holding her head close to me, keeping her warm. I always forget how cold it gets in August. Yes the days are hot but it's in the 50s at night.

After a while my eye lids being to fall heavy and I drift asleep still in the grasp of Maria. I wake up what I can only assume is a few hours later as the sun is beginning to rise. I turn to see if Maria is awoken by the sun to see she's not laying next to me.

I leap to my feet in a cold sweat. "Maria?" I say shakily. "Maria!!" My tears being to well with tears in fear of what could have happened. I begin walking around the park looking for any sign of her.

Finally I see her grey zip-up hoodie thrown to the ground. Even though the suns almost up it's still only around 60° and Maria has never not been cold. She wouldn't discard of it that easily.

I pick it up and continue walking till I see small dots of red on the grass and scattered leaves. I follow the trail as the dots grow in size until I reach the source. My eyes widen at the sight as my legs feel numb. My mouth fills with saliva at the sight of such gore.

I run to the side and grasp a tree for support before throwing up my insides. I fall to my knees as I continue vomiting, not being able to get the image out of my head. Tears run down my face faster and faster as I try to stand up, my legs trembling.

I turn around and hobble over to the scene and fall to the ground once again. My favorite person I've ever met. The love of my life. The only person I've ever truly felt close to, bleeding out in a park. I reach my fingers to her neck to feel for a pulse. I struggle to catch my breath I keep them just under her jawline for minutes, not a single beat.

My hands travel down to her stomach, slashed open like she's a meaningless piece of meat. Her guts falling out of her like she's a pig getting sliced down the stomach. I grasp my hands around her white crop top and fall on top of her. I lay there for what could only be a few minutes until I'm pulled out of my trance by a scream.

"OH MY GOSH!! WHA-A-A-A-T!!!" I lift my head Maria's chest and look towards the scream.

A/n: gonna act like it hasn't been a whole
Month since I updated this but 😜