Living With Internet

Living with internet; part 15

Lily's POV:

Phil's words echo through my head as I turn and bolt from the room where the loud noises and bright lights make me want to vomit. "Run. Run away" are the only things I can think as I hear someone calling my name. For a second I want to turn, turn and run back in there and apologize for everything I've ever done.

But I don't.

I keep running, until I reach the pale colored hotel room door. My hands are shaking and my coordination is severely off, making it difficult to control my movements and unlock the door.

My head is pounding with thoughts that have been pushed aside since I was young, the words of my enemy; my own mind.

worthless.

waste of space.

waste of time.

unwanted.

un-needed.

My tears fall hard and fast, making my cheeks shiny. My emotions turning into droplets that collect on my eyelashes and drip onto the carpet underneath my wobbling legs.

It takes little effort for me to slump onto the bed, taking cover under the starchy sheets that smell of linen and make my eyes water more.

I need a plan. I need to escape.

It takes me almost no time to decide my next actions. I'll wake up early, take all my things, and run away. I can go home, home to America where Dan and Phil won't be able to find me and I'll be safe from hurting anyone. Home, where I can't destroy someone else's life but my own.

Only moments after I confirm this idea in my mind, I drift off into a restless sleep, the burning words from Phil's mouth echoing in my head.

** 5 hours later **

I wake with a gasp, my heart racing from a dream, a dream not so far from reality. My mind keeps replaying the events of last night, twisting it into my dreams and making it worse.

My head and stomach hurt so badly, I might as well be as hungover as the people at the party. I roll over to see the clock flashing 4:38 AM and I sit up. It's time to leave.

I've barely unpacked from my arrival yesterday, so packing is easy. I grab my bag, the tiny hotel soaps, and head for the door. Outside my room, I see Grace and Mamrie stumbling down the hallway, ridiculously drunk as they bump into walls. Fear strikes into me as I realize people might still be around the hotel, including Dan and Phil.

The elevator, thankfully, isn't far down the hallway. My still shaking legs barely carry me to the front desk of the hotel, where an over -tired clerk jerks awake at the noise of me slumping against the counter.

"I'm checking out." I say quickly, handing him my room key. His eyes squint slightly and his lips part as he sits back in his chair. "Didn't you come in with other people yesterday morning? Are you old enough to be on your own?" My teeth grit together and I pull myself higher up on my toes. "Listen here you little self centered inconsiderate ass twat" I hiss, realizing the words coming out of my mouth have recently left Dan's as well. "I don't need to tell you my life story, but I'd be happy to tell the police your last words if you don't check me out and call me a god damn cab." His eyes widen at my words and he nods briskly, straightening his tie in the process.

A few more youtubers pass me as I slouch, hidden from society in a large arm chair in the front lobby. Hannah, Tyler and Troye, tripping over eachother, wander to the elevators, Chris and PJ trailing after them, laughing loudly. My heart beats faster at the thought of Dan and Phil walking through the lobby, but they never appear. Thankfully.

A few moments later my can arrives, and I feel even more nervous as I slide into the back seat, the realization of what I'm doing hits me hard, making my thoughts spin and my stomach lurch. The cab driver turns around, a young man who looks tired but smiles kindly anyways. "Where to?" He asks, bracing his hands on the steering wheel. "The nearest airport please" I choke out, sliding further into the stained back seat that makes a noise that almost resembles a groan as my weight settles into the old leather. The driver just nods, without question and my heart rate slows.

I press my forehead against the window and watch the lights outside of the cab that blur my vision. It doesn't take long for the driver to hit a bump, sending my face straight into the hard glass with a painful result. Grimacing at my the bump on my forehead, and soon-to-be bruise, I place my head in my hands and slip out of consciousness.

Phil's POV:

A severe pain in my head jolts me awake, the full, bright light around me making my eyes water.

Where am I?

I sit up, my head tilting slightly to the side as my neck refuses to support its weight. The hotel room around me doesn't seem familiar, but then again, neither does my body right now. My mind wanders to wonder about Dan, but my thoughts are soon replaced my an uneasy feeling in my stomach that causes me to get out of bed and run to the toilet.

If I wasn't looking down, I most likely wouldn't have seen Dan's large figure lying face down on the bathroom floor, next to the toilet. Rough night apparently. I step over him, and lean against the wall, before the feeling returns and my entire week of meals is seen for the second time. Cringing, I stand up shakily, wash my face, and sit down next to Dan who is now slightly aware of my movements.

"Next time could you vomit a little quieter Phil, that would be great" he snaps, sitting up abruptly and nearly forcing me against the wall I'm sat in front of. He sits silently for a few moments, before rubbing his eyes and looking up at me. "What happened last night?" He frowns, noticing our awful states.

"All I remember is going to the party and having a few drinks. Everything after that is a blur, but for some reason I remember something bad happening but I can't quite-" my voice hitches suddenly as memory from last night floods in. I see myself with Chris, myself pressed against him.

kissing him.

oh shit.

I stand up fast, knocking Dan out of the way as I vomit for the second time that morning.

what have I done?

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HI GUYS

yeah I know I said I gave up on this story but that didn't happen.
I'll admit, I had my mind set on starting a new story and I tried to but it sucked from the first chapter so that got deleted right away....
I have decided to out my full time and effort into finishing this story that I started so long ago, and I promise I won't disappear for like 3 months again.
Also, I just want to thank Plantreproduction one more time for inspiring me to keep writing this story. I know I've already said thank you like 5 times, but your comments and votes made me realize I should have the heart to finish this story and give you guys what you deserve <3
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, another should be up soon seeing as school is staring to wind down. Finally ugh.
~princessryanross
(yes I changed my name, I can't decide if I like it or not....)