Always on my mind [ jaywon ] [ sunsunki ]

FIRST FRIEND

Sometime, I wonder why I'm not outgoing like others, why I don't want to confide in with other.

I was raised in a very lively neighborhood where children used to play every evening, where families were so friendly with each other. My own family was not very different, but I was.

I always struggled to make friends because of my unapproachable aura, they never dared to start a conversation with me. And when I tried to talk to them, it became more messy. Like that one horrible day, I tried asking a boy (jay) if I can play with him. But then he screamed "Ice prince is talking to me", and a whole crowd of children started gathering there. And guess what I did, I ran away from there like 'flash'.

When I turned 8 year old. My parents tried to indulge me into a lot of outdoor games, so I won't feel lonely. And that's how I found my first love, "skating". I really enjoyed skating, I liked the feeling of standing in ice, where the coldness inside of me was welcomed, I liked moving around in the frozen land and forgetting about the emptiness inside of me.

2 years gap

I was walking around in the playground alone, feeling every bit of peace. I usually come here without telling my parents. At night no one is here so it's relaxing. Everything was perfect until I saw a kid(sunoo) in the corner swing. He was sitting in the swing but was not playing in it. Maybe that's why I didn't notice him.

He was looking a little younger than me. I could only look at his back because I was behind the swing, observing him while hiding my body (except my face) with a giraffe slide. I was just staring at him trying to figure out what he was doing if not playing. But suddenly my stomach made an embarrassing sound (because I didn't ate dinner today), which not only startle me but also the kid in the swing. I tried to run away from there before he could give me any unnecessary reaction. But then I felt someone's hand grabbing my blue jacket. I turned around (because I didn't had any other choice), and I saw something unexpected.

He was crying, why? I don't know.
His cheeks were red and those huge tears were falling out of his swollen eyes. He didn't leave his grip from my jacket and I didn't say a word to him. We were just looking at each other face in the middle of the playground, in the middle of the night. Silence was broken when he asked me something strange.

Do you also want to cry?

He was not making any sense to me. CRY, I never thought about crying. After feeling so miserable throughout my life, after feeling so left out around everyone. I was just frustrated but never cried.

Before I could reply him, tears started to fall from my stoned eyes. I started to sob while screaming my lung out. That boy left my jacket and grabbed my hand tightly, which helped a lot.

After crying for so long, we both ended up sitting in the pair of swings. He was watching the stars which were shining as bright as ever while I was just staring at his eyes which were shining more than those stars.

"Why were you crying"  he asked me all concerned

"I don't want to tell you" I mercilessly declined.

"Why"

"We just met how can I tell you about everything in my life. Dad told me I shouldn't tell stranger about my personal life". I said proudly.

"STRANGERS ?,But we just cried together". He pouted

"Together, no. You cried alone." I responded quickly.

"But I held your hand which means I considered you my friend". He desperately said
"So, Do you want to become my friend"?

"Yes. I mean no, I didn't asked that". I stuttered

"I think we are going to be bickering friend". He laughed

"FRIENDS" I repeated