Lies, Deceit and Everything in Between

Starvation Syndrome

This is a love letter to the girl
Who's so convinced that the voice in her head
Provides her with more validation
Then any other human being

The girl who's been seeing stars
But only because she has to
Withdrawing and isolating herself
Sat in dark rooms crying for days on end

When you deprive the body of basic nutrients
And any sort of sustenance to allow you to grow
It begins to shut down
Prioritising only the basics for survival mode

When you're so used to living life in constant fight or flight mode
It often means your threat system is always activated
Reverting back to behaviours or mechanisms
That kept you safe, even if it's completely unintentional

If she had a chance to turn back time
I know she'd want to explain to them, how it's a little harder to keep yourself warm
Or find humour in jokes when everything feels like a personal attack
How it might seem like she's being selfish, when in reality it's the only thing she can comprehend
The only thing keeping her alive
That's starvation syndrome for you

But she's proud of herself
And the progress she's made
No longer afraid to ask for help
Raising awareness and speaking up for others who might not be able to

Accepting that some days might be harder than others
But still committed to the journey of recovery
Doing her best to keep going, despite relapses that might occur

I wish her nothing but kindness and love
And hope that one day she eventually will be able to forgive herself
For her past mistakes and everything that has happened
That one day it'll be easy for her to show the same compassion,
to herself that she can easily extend to others