Lies, Deceit and Everything in Between

Maid of Honour

Author's note: I just want to preface this one with a little message because honestly I wish these girls nothing but happiness, health and love for the future. They just no longer happen to be as close to me as they once were <3

This is a love letter to the girl
Who fixed parts of me that were broken
Without even knowing
Put me back together, as if I were Kintsugi
Never let me feel alone whilst we were in each others lives,
Who could tell exactly what I was feeling just from one look.

People write songs and stories about
The kind of love you find in romantic relationships,
Finding your soulmate for life,
But no one ever writes about the love between two best friends.
The kind that teaches you how to be yourself
Where someone finally allows you to take up space and feel safe doing so,
Finding your platonic soulmate.

It was hard mourning him and the future we'd dreamt of,
I know, you know that,
You were by my side for it all.
But loosing you was ten times harder.
I lost parts of myself.
I lost my trust in everyone all over again.
The world went dark

You saved me from myself
In countless, countless ways
Laughing with you healed parts of my soul,
In ways I never think you'll understand
The voice notes to this day still always make me smile. 🍓
There's a saying, that boys come and go
But I always thought you'd be the masi to my children

I guess you could call the both of us liars,
In different aspects we were
Me in the way of promising to never hurt you,
or never letting you leave my life
And you in the way that you didn't want to be friends with "that group",
Or that you didn't need anyone but me.

I miss you
And I know, you know that
But I also know, how much I hurt you
And I'm happy to continue playing the villain in this story,
If it means you always keep smiling,
And that you're happy,
Because there's nothing I want more for you.

I know I'm not straightforward, simple or easy
I was the girl with baggage and trauma,
But I've tried to make amends,
There's only so much I can do,
I'll take accountability for my actions,
But I'm no longer that girl anymore.
I've become better, I've learnt from the past.

An here I am,
Loving you from a distance,
Celebrating your every win,
And honoured to have even had a few moments
Being your best friend <3

Authors note: Kintsugi is a Japanese art form of putting back broken pieces of porcelain using gold. Highlighting their imperfections