Lies, Deceit and Everything in Between

Safety

Somebody once asked me
"How do you choose your friends or partner" in this day an age
With such long criteria lists building each day
It's getting harder and harder to meet peoples expectations

My response however:
"Safeness"
I pick my people
The people I want to spend time with
Based on how safe they make me feel

Growing up in a volatile environment
Safety was never something I got to experience
So many people take it for granted
But my threat systems always being constantly active
Such a draining way of living

Not feeling safe in your own home
Is something I wouldn't even wish upon my worst enemy
That's why the house I grew up in
Won't ever be referred to as my home

A home is more than just 4 walls
It's a feeling you get
When you feel safe and loved
Cared for and respected

A place you're supposed to be able to return to
After a stressful day
And just unwind
Be you
Able to switch off

That's why I'm so adamant
On picking my people carefully
I've spent too many years of my life
Walking on egg shells
Scared to even be me

I can't even close my eyes
Without feeling unsafe
It sounds silly, I know
But my brain's threat systems are always on overdrive

When I pick my person
The one I hope to spend the rest of my life with
They've got to offer me safeness
Mental and physical safeness
A safe place to build a home and a family
A safe place to call my own <3