Why not me?

Chapter one

I can't help when my knees give out and I slide down the wall, flushing the toilet as my hand drops down. That's the third time I've thrown up today. Yes I'm pregnant, and knowing that makes me want to cry. It's not that I'm unhappy about it, Conrad got me pregnant after we had sex on night. I don't really understand what's happening with him right now, he was so loving that night, but now he's ignoring me and paying so much attention to Belly. I love Belly I really do, I know that she hates me but she's my sister of course I love her

Conrad took my virginity then the next morning claims it was a mistake. He wasn't there when I woke up in the morning, when I finally got the strength to get out of bed, I found him playing in the pool with Belly. He didn't even say anything to me, didn't even look at me. The only person that know I'm pregnant is Steven. He definitely wasn't happy about what happened when he found out. I was taking the test because my period was late, and he barged in for some reason. I don't know he's weird. But he waited with me after I convinced him not to kill Conrad.

I'm definitely not the favorite in the family. Actually that's an understatement, my sister hates me, my mom likes my sister more than me. I know she still loves me, I's just hard knowing she would pick Belly over me in a heart beat if someone asked her to. I guess to get some background we could go back to the first day, when we got to the house.

Getting out of the car I take a nice long breath in,

"I'm finally home." I mumble to myself. Not that anyone would have payed attention to me they are to wrapped up in themselves. Susannah came bolting out of the house at full speed, not stopping.

"They're here!" She yelled over to the boys. Jeremiah runs over to Belly, looking over her for a second then picks her up and twirls her in the air.

"Ah Bells I missed you so much!" After a couple of minutes of me just standing there while everyone else talks, Steven speaks up over everyone.

"You know what time it is" Steven says, smirk visible through his voice even thought i cant see his face. "Belly Flop time!" The three boy scream at the same time, no remorse for the neighbors surrounding them. Belly tries to make a run for it, but Conrad cates her. His arm circling her waist, the sight made my heart shatter. I've loved Connie since before I can remember, my sister we were 11 but i sort of feel like she's lying. That was when I told her I like him, and before that she would always say that she loved him like a brother. You don't fall in love with your brother.

Belly and I had huge glow ups this year. I grew my hair out this winter, which is something i never do. I have never liked it long before, but now I love my hair. I have insecurity though. Belly always talks about how confident she is with Taylor, I cant relate.

Ignoring the fact neither of the boys said anything to me, got inside hoping that without Belly around my mom will let me hang out with her and Susannah. It's been 10 minutes since we went inside, I hear the back door open reviling Steven and Jeremiah.

"Hey Y/n I missed you. Did you grow your hair out?" Jeremiah says as he walks over to me and lightly threads his fingers through my hair. I answer as I push his hand away from my head.

"Yes Jere bear, I've been growing it out over the winter. I actually kind of like it longer. I've always called Jeremiah, Jere bear since we were little. The odd time out when I'm aggravated by him or upset I call him Jeremiah, but other then that it's always been, Jere bear or Miah. All of a sudden I'm over come by a cold, wet blanket.

"BELLY, I'm going to kill you!"

"Jeez y/n/n calm down." Conrad mumbles. Belly finally lets go after some bickering, and I run upstairs to get changed. I feel all my insecurities come to the surface once I'm in my room in front of my full body mirror. My white top is completely see through and I can see all my stretch marks. So many bad thoughts start sunning through my head; he's never going to want you, you look so ugly, go kill yourself. My feet are planted into the floor, it feels like there's quick sand sunder my feet. The further it sucks me down, the worse the voices in me head get.