𝐒𝐡𝐞|𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐥✧

01: the beginning

trigger warnings: depression, arguments, trauma, self harm
word count: 2185 words

4-21-82
Seattle, WA
1:30 Pm
17 years old

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"Shut the fuck up!!" I heard my mom scream at her boyfriend downstairs as I laid down in my bed covering my ears with the pillow trying my best to drown out the screaming match my mom and her 5th 'boyfriend' or really one nightstand had. I felt warm tears graze my cheeks as I felt memories reminisce of my mom and dad fighting when I was just little kid, only difference between then and now is I had my older sister for comfort and to confide in whereas now shes all the way in 'Sunny California' while I stay in 'Rainy Seattle' with all the bad memories raining down on me daily.
I clenched my eyes shut and wiped my face and eyes as I rose up from my bed deciding to say something about this. I donned my slippers on incase there was broken glass on the floor and rose up walking slowly to the door watching my hand hover over the knob not sure if I should really do this or if I should just turn around and deal with it and continue to hear her get screamed at. I quietly opened my door and closed it looking down the staircase that led directly to the kitchen where they were yelling.
I dreaded the walk downstairs making sure I walked slowly looking at the pictures hung up on the walls back when I was actually 'happy and energetic'. Nowadays people just say im more of an empty shell of an 'depressed and tired' soul. People say they miss the happy me and that I could be happy if I tried but don't live in the toxic environment I do.
some days I think about living with my dad but then I remember his anger issues and how abusive, crazy and creepy he gets. Not to mention ill always have hate for him because he was the one who made my mom an alcoholic; causing her to do nothing but laze around and fucking drink all day. I have to work four jobs just to support this damn house and its bills. I even had to drop out of high school so I could work at these jobs all day and she doesn't even know I guess she thinks that fucking casper pays the bills keeping us here.

"Look who it is.The fucking messed up high school dropout" Jason, My moms one night stand and surprisingly my old teacher announced making my presence known as I got off the last step. "The fuck do you mean high school dropout??" My mom hissed turning over to me clenching her other free hand in a fist since the other one was busy holding an bottle of whiskey. I shakily took a deep breath scared of whats to come after I tell her I dropped out months ago and would get off the bus where one of my four jobs is.
"Yes mom. I dropped out." I sighed looking down as she took slow,harsh steps closer and closer to me till she threw the empty bottle of whisky on the floor leaving all of the glass particles flying across the floor making me flinch as she grabbed my chin making me look her in the eye  I felt tears sting my eyes as she told me the words I dreaded for months

"get out." She muttered moving her hand off my chin and instead looking towards the ground in disappointment "Mom...What  do you mean get out.." I stuttered making sure my mind wasn't just playing silly games with me  
"You heard me get the fuck out and dont call me mom. Im not raising a fucking dropout." My mom or Jennifer hissed as she pushed me back towards the steps.

"Why the fuck are you still standing there?? Go pack a bag and get the fuck out! I dont want you coming back unless your coming to get the rest of your stuff!" My mom demanded as I felt the tears come full force now.
I wanted to say something. I really did but something in me stopped me its like I was scared,ashamed Its almost like I didn't want to hurt her feelings even though she constantly hurts mine. I always let people step on me in that way. I can think the most awful thoughts about them but can never do anything about it. So here I am. I didn't even try to defend myself I just did what she said, I went upstairs, Packed my small backpack full of clothes and necessities and was ready to get the fuck out .