My brother

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(Tommy's P.O.V.)
I had shown my family the letter that I had recieved from the Red Dogs. It pertained information about Zindelo's whereabouts. It took a bit of convincing to go get Zindelo. It wasn't because of the fact that Arthur and John where still sour because of the feeling of being betrayed by our brother, and the hearing that it was part of a game we played with Campbell and the Red Dogs. But mainly because Polly had said it was most likely a trap. But once all of the brothers agreed. We all set off to the location. John had looked at the coördinates and knew exactly how to get there. I grabbed my revolver and loaded it. I wondered if my survival would depend on this gun or on my family. Aunt Poll yelled after us, told us we'd be killed within minutes. I ignored every word and just made my way outside.

We finally arrived at the location. An old ruined wood factory. The door of the entey way was still cracked slightly. I was the first to go through. My whole body was alert, ready for an attack, but the hallway was empty. My brothers and some other blinders trailed in behind me, all with guns raised, ready to shot if needes. Carefully we all made it down the first hallway. The light from the full moon shined through the broken window and it made the hallway feel haunted. My heart beat rapidly, but I kept my composure. Like I did back in France, like a soldier. My eyes constantly scanned for danger as we walked through the empty shop. I never paused, never stopped to take a breather. We approached the end of the hallway and turned the corner. John pointed to a nearby flight of stairs that led down into the workshop. And with a nod I confirmed we'll go down. With my gun I scanned the area around me as I arrived on the workfloor. The wooden crates, that were stacked on top of one another, made me nervous. It was a good place to hide behind. But none of the crates had someone hiding behind, which relieved me. We continued carefully through the abandoned building. We all froze when we heard a noise. It sounded like the person was in pain. Then I heard a familiar voice grumble some swear words in Romani. "Zindelo?" I whispered as I rounded one of the crates. "Sonny" I said with a relieved sigh and approached him. But immediatly stopped when I saw the scene infront of me. Zindello was held upright, barely able to stand himself, by Jesse while he pressed his gun against his head. Beside that, he was also bleading alot from fresh cuts, a busted lip, bruises all over his face and more swollen. He looked absolutly exhausted and in extroadinary pain. "Tommy?" He questioned weakily in disbelief. "Let him go!" I told Jesse and pointed my gun. But he tutted and taunted to shoot my brother with loading his gun. "You should've listened to your brother, Tommy" Jesse told me, "we just wanted him". "Then why haven't you killed him?" I questioned, "Campbell might have only wanted Zindelo. But we wanted all of you. And keeping your twin alive, gave us the opportunity to get you here. Where we want you" he explained. At his statement, multiple Red Dogs showed up, completely surrounding us. "Kill them" Jesse ordered before pulling a very weakened Zindelo with him. Dissapearing from the factory. All hell broke loose as both sides went ahead to attack one another. I was pulled back and thrown to the ground. I fell and rolled, pushing to get the person off of me. Meanwhile around me I heard shouts and the sounds of the others struggling. It was dark and I could barely see who I was fighting. Yet had a feeling it was none other than a bloody Red Dog. I punched and kicked, slashed with my peaked cap that had tge razor blades. I felt it connect and rip something. A man screamed. A fist smacked into my right cheek, something hard nailed me in the upper thigh. I paused to brace myself, then pushed with all my strength and slammed my attacker into the wall, then jumped back on top of him. We rolled, bumped into another pair of people fighting. It took every bit of my concentration to hold on to the knife, that I had grabbed from the ground, and I kept slashing, but it was hard being so close to my brothers. I didn't want to injure them. I jabbed out with my left fist and hit under my attacker's chin, then used the moment of reprieve to slam the knife into the person's stomach. Another scream-again a man, and definitely the person who was attacking me. His body limped and I pushed him off from me for good. I stood, looked around to see who needed my help the most. In the moonlight that shined through the window, I saw Arthur straddling a man, while whaling down onto him. Showing no resistance. John had teamed up with Freddy Thorne to fight another. With a slash of John's cap, he slit the man's throat while Freddy held him. We all had survived the suprise attack. "Arthur let's go!" I yelled at the oldest Shelby brother. Who threw another couple of punches for good measure, then stood up, gave the body one last kick. Before fixing some loose strands of hair and turning to us "what?". I turned around to face the direction Jesse took Zindelo. The last fucker of the Red Dogs was still kicking and breathing but not for long. We all ran fast out of the workshop and onto the dirtroad. Tracking the footsteps of Sonny and Jesse. When suddenly a shot was heard. It echoed through the dark sky, making everyone freeze to our places. "Zindelo!" I screamed before bolting off into the direction I thought the sound of a gun being fired off had came from. Through the darkness I ran, not caring if the other lacked behind. I came into a clearing "Zin?!" I called trying to desperatly locate my brother. No responce. Fear began to creep inside of me. "Zin!". Bang, another shot filled the atmosphere, it made me flinch as it was closer this time. "Zindelo where the bloody hell are you!?" I yelled into the night. I continued to run, like a headless chicken through the landscape. I froze when I saw what was infront of me. A shape of a lifeless body was laying on the ground, motionless. My body refused to move, but I had to find out to who it belonged to. So I made myself move. The first steps hesitant, then they became quicker. Untill I reached the body and fell to my knees. I turned it around so I could identify it. Red hair and blue eyes. A sigh of relief when I realized it wasn't my brother but Jesse. But where was he? I looked around me, trying to find a trace of my brother's whereabouts. Then I spotted him. He was leaned against a tree, catching his breath. I quickly stood up and ran towards him. Arriving by him I wrapped my arms around him. He did not return the gesture, probably to weak to even manage to lift his arms. "You're alive" I whispered with a laugh, "no" he softly spoke out. I raised an eyebrow in confusing and looked over him "what? You seem fine-" I stopped mid sentence when I saw that he was clutching his side. My mind flashed back to Jesse's body. I only saw one bullet wound, striaght in the head. But there where two shots fired... so that means that. "Alright, so your shot" I confirmed slightly freaking out, "its not worse than all the other times you've been shot" I told him, "we'll get you fixed up". "No, no, no" he begged me, "d-dont please.....". "What?" I asked not understanding him. He looked uo at me and I could see colour had drained from his face and his eyes hekd an emotion I had never seen before. "I'm done, Tommy" he explained with a sigh. "No!" I told him stern, "no, you're not thinking straight" I told him. "Tommy, let me go" he begged me as he tried to get me of from him. "No! Just listen to me. I know you're okay in there, I'm not letting you die-" I yelled at him trying to contain my grip. But then something snapped in Zindello. "No!" He screamed and pushed me away from him, "you don't get to decide when I die or live anymore! Especially after everything I have done for you. After all the shit you made me go through! Deliberatly putting me against our brothers. Breaking the trust they had with me. I can never get that back! And now? You can't do the one and only thing I've ever asked you to do!". No, I couldn't just let him kill himself. I just can't. "Zin, you're having one of your episodes again" I told him and took a few steps back, "just calm down and give us a chance". Zindelo screamed and rushed forward before tackling me to the ground. The impact knocked the breath out of me. I struggled to fill my lungs as my brother climbed on top of me, pinning me down. "I should cut away your fucking eyes," Sonny said as spit flew from his mouth. "teach you a lesson about killing! But why? You've killed so many, put father's and son's all to their death. All of them! Yet you refuse to give me my death!!". I shook my head, very slowly reaching for my gun with my free hand, wanting go get rid of it before he would find it and kill himself. "You wanna know why I have these episodes, Tommy? Did I ever tell you? No, I don't think I did". "What happened?" I asked, stalling for time, while I slipped my fingers around the weapon. "because I can't be without a fucking war! Everywhere I go, I fight in a war. Out here and in my fucking mind. Always and forever. I can't unsee it. Tommy, I hate every second of every day. And I'm done fighting in the god-for-saken wars". Zindelo suddenly twisted around and grabbed me by the hand that was holding the gun. He yanked it toward
himself, forcing it up until the end of the pistol was pressed against his own forehead. "Do it! Kill me! Show me that you care enough for me to finally listen to one of my orders!". I tried to pull my hand away, but even weaked, Zindello still remained quit strong. "I can't, Sonny, I can't". "Do it! Kill me, you fucking coward" The words tore out of him, his whole body trembling and shaking as he hovered above me. Then his voice dropped to an harsh whisper "put me out of my misery." The words horrified me. Never in a million years had I expected to hear Zindelo Shelby plead to be killed. "Sonny". "Shut up! Just shut up! I trusted you! Now do it!" he began to scream again, tears began to prick in my eyes at hearing his cry. "I can't", "yes, you can!". "No! I can't!" How could my brother ask me to do something like this? How could I possibly kill one of my brothers. "Kill me or I'll kill you" he now threatened, "kill me! Do it!", "Sonny ... I". "KILL ME!" And then my brother's eyes cleared, as if he'd gained one last trembling gasp of sanity, and his voice softened. "Please, Tommy. Please". I shook my head no and threw the gun away. "Fine. I'll do it" he growled and he dove for the gun. "Zin!" I screamed after him, scrambling to my feet to prevent him from shooting himself. He raised the gun to his temple. Before he could manage to shoot, I tackled him down to the ground. We wrestled for the gun. Rolling over one another, finger trying to reach the gun. I managed to kick him off and stand onto my feet again. With a groan and heavy breathing, Zindelo pushed himself up aswell. He looked at me with eyes I didn't recognize. "Why can't you let me rest?" He questioned, "I'm done living, Tommy. Just let me go". "Zindello" I begged softly for him to stop. A scream ripped from his lungs and he charged me again. He pushed me against a tree and held me there. His hand trying to reach the gun, but I kept it away from him. Then, out of nowhere, the deafening sound of the gun being fired came through the air. My eyes widened and I looked at Zindello. He stayed still, before his face went pale. I looked down and my heart fell into a black abyss. Zindelo's hand was wrapped around mine, pointing the gun to himself, but my fingers where the one that pulled the trigger. Blood quickly stained his shirt. "No. No. No" I quickly said as Zindelo slumped down to his knees. I sunk to the ground aswell and held him in my arms. I looked at his eyes, nothing in them told me, that he was in pain. My lip began to tremble as tears began to prick in my eyes. But my brother, he held a soft smile on his face. Almost like he was the one comforting me. "It was... always going to... to be me" he said choking on his blood, "we all knew it. Knew...knew it... since the beginning". He gulped hard before looking back at me. A weak, shaking hand reached up to touch my cheek "thank you, my brother". I watched as the life drained from his eyes, the soft smile he had on his face dissapeared, and then he took his final breath. I choked a cry as I realized he was now gone.

 I choked a cry as I realized he was now gone

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My second half. My twin. My blood. Now gone for good. And he was alright with it. I don't know how long I had stayed there, sitting alone, as I looked at my brother. Before my family showed up. Wondering what had happened. But I couldn't talk, couldn't explain. Arthur had screamed, demanding me to talk. John was trying to lessen the blood loss on our brother, all the while Freddy told him to stop. Everything around me was silent, in slow motion, as if I was underwater. I looked at my brother's lifeless body again and I couldn't hold the tears back. They just silently fell as the workd around me caved in. But yet there was some peace here aswell, knowing that he wanted to die.

"You're welcome, my brother".

Published: 6the of September 2023






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