"often times i wonder if the risk is worth it.. but as soon as i look into those eyes all of my worries go away. how could one soul make me want to throw away my whole being?" (a beynika story)
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It'd been a mere eight years since the death of ming and neither me or Beyoncé had been the same. In the midst of those eight years me and Beyoncé thought it'd be good for us to try to have a child. After three failed attempts of carrying a baby the last try was successful and I carried a babygirl full term.
Zahra Ming Maraj-Knowles
It was a rough pregnancy but with the village we both had there wasn't anything that we couldn't do.
Mama tina made sure that Mathew had a slow death on top of Beyoncé knocking him out so bad that it took a lot of reinforcement for him to wake up. Just for him to go into a eternal sleep at the hands of Tina.
I cut all contact with my mom. She didn't even have the guts to show up to ming's funeral. She made her own bed and now she had to lay in it. Whatever was going on with me she had to find out alongside the rest of the world.
Our way of coping came in the form of music for the both of us. Beyoncé quit teaching after I graduated. She swore it was no one worth teaching now that I would no longer be there. She went to pursue her musical career and after a surprise featured performance everyone encouraged me to do the same.
She proposed after our joint performance and we decided that we wanted our daughter to be old enough to be our flower girl so we postponed the wedding until we felt it was time.
Our life consisted of nothing but Zahra, music and a bunch of love.
"MOMMY" her voice rang out, loud footsteps to shortly follow.
"Stop running around my house like y'all don't have no home training." I scolded. I just knew Beyoncé was the reason behind it.
"Mommy you're no fun!" Zahra whined plopping down on the island. She was tall for a six year old. I had Bey to blame for that.
"Yeah mommy, no fun" Bey pouted against my cheek before pecking it a few times.
"Keep on and there won't be no party" I threatened, pointing the knife I was using to cut up the cheese for the rotel.
"You can't cancel my eighth birthday party silly! It's basically against the law. Right mama?" She asked Bey who stood typing on her phone.
"It's definitely against the law baby, get down and let's go get dressed people will start arriving soon. Aren't you ready to see your tt solo?" she asked as she wrapped a firm arm around her small waist.
"Yesss! And I'm ready to see my cousin Amias" She said happily as she blew me a kiss before they turned the corner.
Amias was Jhenés son that she gave birth to the year we graduated. He was over here more than he was at his own house. I didn't mind tho. That was our first baby before we had Zahra.
I went upstairs to take a quick shower and threw on one of the matching t shirts I had made for everybody for the party and a maxi skirt to match.
The decorators had been at the house all day and they did a wonderful job at accomplishing the weird combination of butterflies and bluey.
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A couple hours of partying and it was now time for Zahra's favorite part. She and cake came hand in hand. So much that if I had bought her eight cakes she would've been content with not having a party.
Me and Beyoncé promised each other to give her the childhood we weren't able to have. She got whatever she wanted and desired. I felt half bad for whoever she ends up with later in life.
"Alright you ready?" I asked her as Bey pulled out the lighter and began to light the candles.
"WAIT" Zahra yelled before darting into the house, before coming back out with the picture of ming we kept on our refrigerator.
"We almost forgot auntie ming. Now we can sing" she said and my heart ached for a bit. She loved her auntie ming and it hurt my heart that they weren't able to ever really know each other.
"So! what did you wish for?" Amias asked Zhara.
"I wished that me and my mommies get to live in a castle with pink alllll over it." she cheesed.
"Whatever you want baby." Bey kissed her on the cheek and I nodded, pulling out my phone to text my assistant to let her know that she needed to start looking for a reliable contractor.
At the end of the day I thanked God every day for what he blessed me with. I knew that everything happened for a reason and I was just now beginning to see the other side of that tunnel.
ANDDDD CUT!
A big thank you for you all who stuck with me through this inconsistent ass journey. If you haven't checked out my new book, "The Love Reboot" Please do so! Thank you and until next time.
