chapter 17

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Don't let your struggles be your identity

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(Azure p.o.v)

I grab the notebook out my book bag I have a concert in Japan so I'm on the plane with nothing to do might as well write right

I'm the singer Azure King my life isn't all what it looks like either your a Fan or a awesome Azurer or someone that wants to know more about me this will let you into my world,my brain,my thoughts,my life that you don't see or know about,now you'll know

I write this is harder than I thought

All my troubles,what I have been through and how I got through it

I stop writing and put my notebook away I need to sleep I wake up getting carried by Noah and Alex carrying my bags I close my eyes going back to sleep

"I seen your eyes open little miss,"Noah tells me

"sh let me back to sleep," I hush him going back to sleep I wake up in a hotel room I go piss washing my hands I go into my backpack taking out my notebook

Look's can be deserving I mean I look how I feel in the inside now you probably would like to know why this will tell you Why answer the hate I get for my style,my looks and how I act ever since I was 1 month my mum left for a job leaving me and my twin brother Joy to are Da which with my Da awakening at 3 a.m. to go to work then coming home at 9 p.m. with him extremely fragile and him having to deal with 4 of 1 year olds running around wanting his attention giving five kids attention not including Joy and I is hard my Da tries as best as he can we had a lass named Reba taking care of us from taking us to day care to putting us to bed awakening when Joy or I would cry or one of the kids having a nightmare she was are nanny till we moved to a bigger house and a different area we moved to Sweden then we got a nanny called Matiana She would go on vacation with us

I stop writing hearing Mia yelling for me to open the door I get up walking to the door with my notebook in hand I see Mia and Tata behind her I go to my backpack putting my notebook in it I sit down on a chair she puts foundation,mascara and concealer on me

"so you are the 3 rd person up," Mia tells me I can't move or Tata will scold me

"we are flying to Michigan for you can open their then you are going to Alabama for a meeting and interview then you are going to Pittsburgh for a few interviews and open for all time low," Mia explains I nod

"oh yeah and you have to go to new York after Pittsburgh because of your ticket and other," Mia adds after Tata is done doing my makeup we go in the taxi cab to the arena which is about a hour away so

I take my backpack with me so I can change into a different outfit and for me to write I take out my notebook grabbing a pencil from the side porch

When I just turned one three months after Kali and Gia was born when we were visiting Gold coast,Australia then a year later Rex,Jax,Nash,Nick and Skye were born Da had to get another help and work longer but the thing about mum is she stays a month after she has her baby then leaves Dustin,Carson and Madison have more memories when they were younger than the rest of us do I kind of wish she was there for I can have that mother figure I kinda of have the Da figure a least more than mum but what is sad I remember more of the nanny I have had to figure life out on my own it's hard me being a 17 year old girl I had to learn right from wrong on my own well with Joy I'm not saying I have a bad Da it is just hard to control and teach all of us I feel alone most of the time when I was younger it felt like just Joy and me to face the world and at times it still does but I'm on my own most of the time now

I put my notebook away grabbing my phone listening to music as we go there the rest of the ride

I just think about my life and how I feel about my family I love them I do it's just hard to explain writing it down I get out of the car once we get to the arena I go straight to

my dressing room changing into a Japan flag tank top with the words Japan with some white jeans shorts and red supra high tops I grab a water taking a drink looking around my dressing room it's small but not to small 7 people can fit in the room I get up walking out of the room

"were you going," Alex asks I just nod my head walking out I take another drink from my water bottle I see Ariana Grande,Selena Gomez, pitbull and Nicki Minaj walking the hallway I keep walking to who knows where drinking my water bottle

"Azure get back here," Alex calls I flip him off I just got really mad for no reason at him I look down at my phone

Finn

Do you have some ?

From Finn

I roll my eyes Quinn and his brother well his brother is in jail and Quinn is in a place that can help him or something I haven't been keeping up with them so I don't know what actually happened

Da said if I tell him You asked me for drug he will send you to the psych ward

To Finn Finns

I walk back to my dressing room going to apologize to Alex I see him laying on the couch looking at his phone

"Alex I'm sorry I shouldn't have gone off on you there is just something going on and I shouldn't off took my anger out on you," I explain shutting the door after I apologize I sit down about 20 minutes later they call me for sound cheek it went smoothly

I perform that was awesome I go to my dressing room I charge into a baggy shirt along with Carson's basketball shorts I put on Grey supra high tops putting my hair in a bun Alex grabs my bag as I play mincraft on my phone walking down the wide long hallway Mia, Tata and Noah are already in the taxi cab to um were am I going Michigan yes that is were I'm going Michigan here I come

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