Through My Window - Adrienette FF

The Punishment

Grays.

This is how I would describe the next two weeks of my life.

Punished, I only leave the house to go to school and must return as soon as the dismissal bell rings.

Even though I assured Mom that Adrien was out of my life, she still grounded me. I am obediently serving my sentence because my mother is right. I didn't do things the right way. If Adrien was my official boyfriend, I would have a way to defend myself and she would understand. But I can't expect her to understand that I agree to be a boy's one-night stand and gave him my virginity without receiving anything in return, just hot and cold attitudes and hurtful words.

Yes, the last time I saw him, he was nice, but he couldn't even tell me that he liked me. I do not expect him to tell me that he loves me, I just need to hear from his lips words that verify that he does feel something for me, and it's not just sexual attraction.

I haven't heard from Adrien in these two weeks, and I haven't even leaned out the window to try to see him. What for? What would I gain from that? Torture myself? No thanks, I've had enough.

A part of me feels that the conversation with my mom gave me back the strength and beliefs that I used to have. Everything I put aside for Adrien or well, not for him, he didn't force me, I decided to do it.

The saddest thing about this situation?

Luka.

Surprisingly, it's not my mom's slap that makes my heart wrinkle. It's Luka.

I feel betrayed on so many levels. Luka told my mom everything, and it hurts a lot. He has been my best friend since we were little, he has always been there and that he has betrayed me in that way leaves me with a heart wound. I don't know if he did it with the mentality that it was the best for me or just out of jealousy, he is wrong either way.

You tell things to your best friend person because you trust him. I trusted him and he took that trust and destroyed it so easily.

Alya was furious when I told her what Luka had done, she threatened to hit him and other violent things too graphic to describe now. I had to calm her down and make her promise me that she wouldn't do anything to him.

I don't want any more drama or more problems. I just want time to continue to pass, for my wounds to start to heal and for these feelings to disappear.

Yes, I want a miracle.

Anyone would think that Luka would look for me to beg and ask for my forgiveness, but he hasn't done it, he just avoids me and lowers his head every time I meet him in the hallway at school. I've wanted to confront him, yell at him, slap him, see what he has to say about it, what is his excuse, I just don't have the energy or courage to do it.

Nino and I have become a little closer, although every time I hang out with him, I can't help but remember his brother. But I just hold on because he is not to blame for what happened between Adrien and me.

I let out a long sigh, it's already Saturday and I'm cleaning the house. I feel like a zombie, moving automatically. I can tell I'm a little depressed. I don't know if it's the situation with my mom, with Adrien or with Luka... maybe it's a combination of the three.

Spots is sitting with his jaw resting on his front paws, looking at me like he knows that I'm not feeling well. My dog and I have a connection beyond words. I kneel in front of him and rub his head.

He licks my fingers, "You and me against the world, Spots."

Mama peeks in the door of my room, she's wearing her catering's uniform, "I'm leaving, it's my night shift today."