Devrosian Truth

Unconditional

Aribella POV

I asked for help for the first time
there first time
i asked for help i broke through my fear
my fear to call out to beg
like i never have before
LITERALLY

i have never asked you for anything
EVEN when EVEN when you held the reunion on MY BIRTHDAY
i asked for nothing and that is what i received nothing
but i never complained
i never even brought it up
that was what i thought
you ment when you said

unconditional

I DID NOT REALIZE THAT
WHAT YOU MENT WAS
i will always be there when
your doing well
I'll always be there when
i need you
I'll always be there when
you can stand on your own

I do not believe in unconditional
unconditional is toxic it poisoned my heart
it trapped me in its cold embrace
unconditional BROKE ME

because what unconditional ment was
i will never see you when
you struggle
i will never be there when
it doesn't benefit me
i will always be missing when
you are groveling on your knees
BEGGING for help

you want to know why I DO NOT LISTEN
when you tell me that I'm not with the right people

maybe it is because those who you claim will always be there have
already shown there true colors
have already proved that
unconditional only counts when you can stand on your own

~~~~~~~~~~~~
maybe that if why the most precious item I own is the severed head of a paper mache statuette that my cousin made when she was 5 when she and her sisters overheard another family member mention it was my birthday I will always remember how their feet pitter pattered against the floor up the stairs how I could hear them tearing up their room in a frantic mess to find something anything ill always remember the disappoint on their faces when they returned but to me they had already given me the best gift they could I didn't care that they couldn't find the body that it was crumbling I will always remember. I learned two things that day 1 I saw just how much my little cousins cared and 2 all the adults already knew it was my birthday and didn't care