Turn on the lights - Remus lupin comfort fic

Chapter 11

Being alone in Hogsmeade was brilliant Willa had thought. 'Freedom' she thought as she inhaled a deep breath of fresh air. It was snowing and cold but so refreshing, she hadn't realised how much she hated being cooped up in the castle.

Honeydukes was her first stop. She got a small paper bag of fudge flies and jelly slugs before heading back into the cold December air and heading to the shrieking shack, everyone seemed to talk about it when they had come back from Hogsmeade in previous weekends so she thought she'd take a walk there and see what all the fuss was about. The walk took a little while but it felt so good to stretch her legs she didn't mind. Before long she had arrived at the viewing spot for the rickety old building. It was dilapidated but somewhat marvellous standing alone in the harsh Scottish landscape. The cool air filled her lungs and for once nothing filled her head she just appreciated freedom and quiet.

It didn't take long before Willa noticed that someone was watching her, 'that's such bullshit they said I was going to be alone why do they always have to ruin things' Willa thought to herself and rolled her eyes. "I know you're there professor just come out and stop spying on me I'm not doing anything, check my arms if you like I've not done anything in weeks for fucks sake!" She had raised her voice by now it was so frustrating they had to lie to her about trusting her. Nobody appeared. "Just come out, stop being a creep, I thought you trusted me, look" she stripped her coat and jumper off exposing her scarred arms showing the lack of fresh cuts. The cold slapped her arms but she didn't mind it, it was a little freeing really. No professors showed their faces, Willa looked around her, maybe she really was going nuts and seeing things and hearing things. Tears began to roll down her cheeks, she couldn't stop crying before long she let out a scream "WHYY. WHY ME FOR FUCKS SAKE WHY COULDNT THE WORLD LEAVE ME ALONE FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!" Her sobs heightened and she sat still bare armed on a cold solitary rock.

Hands appeared from nowhere grabbing her. She could hardly move they had such a firm grip on her. "Silencio" someone muttered, now whatever she wanted to say didn't escape her mouth, she opened her eyes meeting another's eyes, a short fat haired man who's face incredibly resembled a rats held her firmly. She was certain he had once been completely red headed or blonde ish it was now littered with streaks of grey. She was paralysed in fear his weight felt so great over her as she was pressed further into the snow. Scratching hands ripped down her trousers. Before pressing their weight back down on her arms, she struggled for a moment attempting to get free. The weight was too sheer and the more she struggled the harder he pressed down onto her. It was so cold. "Good girl" his hoarse voice rattled. She turned her head to the snow her hair turned wet. The hands moved from her arms to her chest. She couldn't breathe. Her T-shirt did nothing to protect her. Nails gripped into her flesh. She shut her eyes tight trying to ignore the pressure and overwhelming pain which took over her whole body. It felt like it went on for ages the man let out grunts and groans on regular intervals. Finally all the pounding stopped he lay on top of her for a while, sliding his dry hands down her body clawing and grabbing at her legs.

At last the man got up. Willa didn't move, she lay still on the ground. He moved away from her his breathing still heavy but getting fainter as he disappeared back into the trees. She curled into a ball, tears fell silently down her face. It didn't feel real. She wasn't there she was somewhere else she had to be somewhere else. Shivering she opened her eyes again. Breathing still felt difficult. She went to pull her trousers up but realised her pants had been ripped off her and stayed in a small bundle next to her. Her trousers were soaked from the snow. They were so cold and heavy. They felt like the weight of chains dragging her legs down. Her T-shirt was also torn I places. As though his nails had punctured through the thin fabric. She put her jumper back on and stayed still on the rock once again she wasn't just cold from the snow now, she was cold in every way a person could feel cold. Tears were difficult to distinguish from the drips coming from her hair.

She got up. And walked like a zombie back towards the town every step hurt. Her legs burnt and her chest still felt like it had a crushing weight on top of it. Willa stared at the three broomsticks and saw her professor stood outside waiting for her. He looked in shock at the state of her. "What happened to you!" The silencing spell had been lifted but it still felt as though words didn't come to her she thought for a moment, 'nobody can know what has just happened. You're the reason all of this happened' "I tripped and fell on my walk professor, nothing major" he looked back at her with a disbelieving look. "Is that how you acquired this bruise too?" He smoothed his hand down her cheek removing wet hair which let out a small burst of pain. She shuddered wanting to run. The feel of someone touching her made her want to be sick or swing her arm at him. She withheld her impulse. Lupin drew his wand and let out an enchantment which dried her within seconds. He went to put his hand to her shoulder but Willa involuntarily shuddered away. 'Don't touch me. Please god don't touch me' . Lupin withdrew his hand and they went into the three broomsticks.

He ordered two butter beers, and they sat by the crackling flames of the fire. Not even this and the butter beer warmed her she still felt completely cold and almost numb if it weren't for the burning sensation between her legs and the stinging feeling which wrapped around her chest. She looked up. " can we go back please professor. I want to go back." She whimpered. "come on now Willa, you were having a good day, I know going out and about scares you at the moment but it's not going to get better if you do nothing to help yourself" he looked at her almost sternly now 'fuck off, fuck off, fuck off. You haven't any idea what it's like or what has just happened to me, fuck off you twat' " I suppose you're right professor, but I'm really quite tired now and I just want to go to bed, and I have a headache" she wasn't lying she wanted nothing more than to get clean and go to bed. She wanted to shut out the world again.

"I had hoped we might be able to talk a little more about how you've been doing Willa. We haven't had a proper chat since you've been out of the hospital wing" Willa sighed, she could see he wasn't going to let up. "It's only been a few days since I got out so not much has changed." She stared down at her butterbeer. She hadn't touched it since the first glug. Everything had changed, she should never had left the castle. Tears welled in her eyes. She fought them but they fell anyway dripping onto the wooden table. Her professor got up and placed himself next to her. "It will be ok Willa, give it time." He went to place his arm around her and give her a hug. "Please, don't touch me" she breathed, it went unheard and he half embraced her anyway. "Let's go back to the castle dear, I can see you have had enough for today." She trailed behind him on their walk back. It all hurt.