fire fly

Chapter Three

Chapter 3
My younger self wanted to believe he meant it, even though his voice did not sound genuine. But I couldn't say anything back. I couldn't say the same because I knew he was wrong for me from the start, and I knew he was a bad person when it started happening again. I could say it back to him, but I couldn't be genuine in my words because I knew he wasn't a good person at heart. So it was always difficult for me to say it to him and mean it. For some reason, I told him to his face that I loved him. This was a problem at the start of our relationship.

"What do you mean you can't say it?"

"I want to, but I can't."

"Why not?" He says he can feel my heart beating through my chest as he looks at me across the room. In his voice, he sounded hurt, as if he were hurt by my words, which he indeed was, but it was just a cover for his true feelings.

He moved closer and closer to me, and I backed away from him very slowly.

"Why can't you say you love me to my face?" He stood in front of me. His hands wrapped around my lower back to comfort me while I started to burst out in tears.

He didn't have to say or do anything; he just sat with me through this difficult period of random emotions that I couldn't explain to him. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"It's going to take some time for me to warm up to the idea of love," I said in a hushed tone so he couldn't hear me.

He kisses the top of my head as he continues to hug me. He stayed like that for a while, until he stopped hugging me together and kissed the top of my head without looking at me, just like before. He slowly brought both of his hands to my face and stared at me as I stood still looking at the ground.

"Why are you not looking at me?" With genuine concern in his voice, he inquired.

Once again, tears streamed down my cheeks. As soon as I was free of him, I turned around. As a result of my actions, he drew his hands away from my face and lowered his head.

"It's just difficult for me to say I love you back because I've never felt this way before, and if I tell you that I love you then you'll leave me"

I can tell what his true feelings are because he signs behind me. After moving around me, he reappeared in front of me.

"Can I give you a hug?" He asked as he looked into my eyes, those devil-green eyes filled with deep love and concern. With puppy-dog eyes, he stands in front of me. Those eyes were something that I always loved about him, the eyes of a boy I loved. He knew I had a soft spot for him, which was bad because after he hurt and hit me, he made me feel bad about it, and then I was the one apologizing for something I didn't do. He made me feel like the bad guy which wasn't ok at all. Now that I look back on him

"Why did you ask?"

"I know you said to ask the next time, remember?"

"Of course, you can hug me."

We talked about everything and nothing. The situation deteriorated before improving. He gave me false hope in the form of a love that I thought would last forever. He was a deceiver. He has always been a liar, as far back as I can remember. It is a fact that he lied about several things, including never hurting me. My return to him was always predicated on his deception. I returned and returned and returned until I couldn't take it any longer. He lied for the last time, and I couldn't take it.

The idea that everything will work out at the end of a love story is always what we want for ourselves. However, there are times when this does not occur. As an eighteen-year-old adolescent, life is crazy and difficult, and love is even more difficult to understand. Even though I am now considered an adult in society, not everyone understands what love is. It can be terrifying, exciting, and horrifying all at the same time. Even if you know you shouldn't, you can love someone. Because having someone wrong for me in my life is sometimes preferable to having no one at all.