love through scars

Chapter 14 || Lucas

I noticed Julia has been keeping an eye on me since she helped me with my hand. Which is now about a week and a half. She's probably making sure i don't pick at the scabs. I chuckle at the reminder. I look down at my hand and think about the dickwad Aiden. I haven't told Julia what the disagreement was about. It was because he was a dick, yeah but he was a dick to her. I mean what guy comes up to a girl they asked on a date to ask if she can give him a blowjob in the janitors closet. I see her peeking from behind her book again and i wink at her. She rolls her eyes and i look back down at my work. She's wearing baggy clothes and her hair is down. I love how she looks. I know she may hate me but i still love her. I always will. The bell rings but today i refuse to sit with Noah. I don't even know why my mom forced us to be friends again. So instead i go to the music room and grab a guitar. Not many people know but i've played guitar since i was seven. My father taught me this song when i was younger. It always calms me down, so i sit down on a chair and place my fingers in the right places. When the first sound hits my ears i'm gone. Lost. Free. I look down at my guitar and my fingers that move across the strings. Looking up i almost get a heart attack at Julia standing in the doorway. I stop playing. "Jeez you scared me." I say.
"Sounds like a you problem." She looks down at my hands.
"You told me you played but i didn't think you were any good at it." She tells me.
"Well am I any good at it?"
She pauses but then her expression changes.
"I don't think you should be playing with hurt hands. All you're knuckles were open wounds. Doesn't that hurt?"
"I mean yeah but it doesn't bother me. What are you doing here anyways?"
"I saw you walking in here instead of going to lunch and sitting with Noah so i thought i'd check up on you."
I roll my eyes at the sound of his name.
Julia gives me a confused look but lets it go.
"Gotta go." She says before walking off.
I look down and let out a small laugh to myself.
This girl changes her feeling toward me everyday.

After I played a few other songs lunch break was over. "Finally dude where were you?"
Noah says clapping me on the shoulder.
"Just played a few songs in the music room."
"Oh cool- Damnnnnn look at that." Noah whistles at someone. Following his gaze i see that he's whistling at a girl, probably a grade below, who's getting up from her chair packing up her stuff. Pretty girl. But she's visibly uncomfortable, you can tell by the way she looked back at Noah. "Dude stop." I nudge him in the ribs. The girl looked in our direction again and gave me a shy smile thanking me for shutting him up. I give a small nod in response. "Respect. Keep your thoughts to yourself."
"Oh don't be so sensitive, she liked it."
"Don't know what the fuck told you she liked it but just shut the fuck up." I answer him needing to take a deep breath to not do something stupid. But something else catches my eye. Dirty blond hair. She's getting stuff out of her locker, a blue notebook and what i guess, her history book. Since we have this period together i know she has history. Just the class i need. Noah is talking to me but i mute his voice out.

She put her hair up in a low bun. It's messy but cute. Her leg is shaking. We are sitting next to eachother, even though it cost me a lot of convincing and ten bucks i got the teacher to assign her seat next to me. It was definitely worth it. She's looking out the window. I hesitate before slowly placing my bandaged hand on her knee. Julia freezes and her legs stops shaking. My chest squeezes when she gently moves her leg away still not looking in my direction. It was worth a shot. I know i was maybe a little too harsh when we broke up, but i don't want her to hate me. I didn't mean any of the things i said in that message. I atleast want us to be friends. I look down at her hands, she's scratching her arm and her finger accidentally catches on her sleeve. A red line comes to view from under her sleeve. My eyes widen and i immediately straighten. She quickly rolls her sleeve down.
"Julia."
She ignores me.
"Julia." I repeat.
"What do you want?" She says annoyed but finally she turns to me.
"Can i see your arms. Please." I whisper.
All the color drains from her face.
"No. Why?"
"Show me." Still whispering.
"No."
"Julia please."
"I said no." She whisper yells back.
She turns back to the window but not for long. I grab her arm carefully, she tries to pull away but i tug her arm closer. I slowly and carefully roll up her sleeve holding her close so that no one can see it. Cuts covering her wrist. "Julia..."
I say. I say it as softly as possible. She pulls her arm away and rolls her sleeve down. "That is not any of your business." She says looking out the window again. "Just because we broke up doesn't mean that i don't care about you." She ignores me.
"Mr. Barlowe and Ms.Smith! Quit talking in my lesson. Breaks are for talking not my classroom."
Our history teacher yells out.
"May i use the bathroom?" Julia asks.
"Fine."
Julia stands up and walks out the classroom.
"I need to go too. It's urgent."
"Be quick. You've wasted enough of my lesson already."
I quickly stand up and walk out the door. I see Julia at the end of the hallway. I run up to her.
"Wait up!"
"So you can lecture me? No."
"I don't wanna lecture you. But we do need to talk."
"No we don't. There's nothing to talk about."
"There's a lot and not only..." I pause.
"Your relapse."
"What do you wanna talk about then?"
"Everything. You. Me. Us."