ɪ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ʙᴇʟʟ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀꜱ [𝓐𝓺𝓾𝓪 𝔁 𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓪] {𝒪𝓈𝒽𝒾 𝓃𝑜 𝒦𝑜}

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙 ~ ℂ𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝔽𝕚𝕘𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕆𝕦𝕥

Kana POV:

I am a ruined child-actor.

There. I defined my whole career in one sentence.

I often wish I had made more of myself. I should have became a pretty, sophisticated, famous girl, even if it meant doing something other than acting. If only I could be a perfect girl.

I had never wanted that, but now I really, really wanted that life.

Because it meant I would be like Akane Kurokawa.

The girl whom's acting could completely impersonate a person. A girl who tried her hardest and produced the best results. A girl who had been completely bullied online yet still regained and even earned new fans. A girl who had made a comeback. A girl Aqua kissed.

In my many years of failure, never had I felt like I failed my dreams. Until today.

I stared at the screen helplessly. I couldn't undo it. I couldn't redo anything. Facts were facts and the fact here was that Aqua had kissed Kurokawa. 

Even if it was for work.

It made me feel queasy, sick to the stomach. Yet I kept replaying that scene. I forced myself to watch it over and over again in hopes that I might adjust to it.

I didn't.

The media was bombing over the kiss. Everyone was furiously talking away about Love Now. The dating show had suddenly become insanely popular.

I couldn't help but hate myself. 

Why did I make such snarky comments? Why was I so rude? Why was my personality not cute like MEM-cho's, or attractive like Shiranui, or unique like Akane's? Why couldn't I try harder to be a perfect girl that attracted media and fans?

I was a ruined girl.

I already knew that. The moment I decided to stay in the entertainment industry even when I stopped getting jobs. I had ruined myself for life.

And nobody would want a girl with scars, even if they were healed.

I pressed pause on the video and slumped back onto the couch, letting the pillows absorb my self-loath. 

Both Ruby and MEM-cho were out shopping. Miyako was at a meeting and Aqua was somewhere. I hadn't bothered asking.

None of them were going to be coming back for lunch. (I didn't know about Aqua. I assumed not. When he went out he went out for ages.) It meant I would have to either go out or make food.

I was purposely ignoring Aqua these days. I was furious with him for kissing Akane. I knew I was being selfish and childish but I couldn't help it.

Sighing, I pulled myself up and was going to go to the kitchen to make lunch when suddenly a voice came from behind me.

"What are you watching?"

I jumped as my heart rate went up insanely fast and spun around to see Aqua leaning on the couch.

"What the heck? I thought you were out." I said, then changed my mind and turned away. "Whatever. I don't care."

I reached to turn off the laptop but Aqua got there before me and clicked play.

I immediantly panicked.

"Wait, Aqua-"

The same scene I'd been replaying for hours came on again and I immediantly cringed as Aqua watched it with cool, collected eyes.

Aqua watched for a few minutes, then paused it. He didn't even have the chance to turn to me when I started blabbing.

"It's not what you think," I protested, "I was just watching the episode and happened to be at this point."

"Let's see." Aqua clicked on my website history and saw countless replay tracks. "Looks like you've been replaying the same scene over thirty times."

"I-I..." I started blushing. "It's just- it's a high in the episode and I wanted to see you kiss another girl. It's funny. That's all!"

Aqua stared at me for a while. I didn't know where to look, at him, in the eyes, at the floor, up at the ceiling, or if I was just supposed to close my eyes.

After a good while he stopped and left, without a word, just like that.

I silently cursed him under my breath.

A/N: Hopefully this first chapter reaches your expectations and keeps you physced for more! I did use some reference scenes from the anime for this chapter.