Fading Into Nonexistence

Fearing the Fault

"Why do you think I'm crazy?" I question, and then proceed to bite my pale, pink lip.

"We don't think you're crazy, Eve. We just think you are a bit confused," he answers and smiles a smile only liars can produce. I let out a small breath. "Eve-" I cut him off with a quick glare. "Eve." His voice becomes more stern. "Do you understand why we think you need help?" he asks and cups his pale hands together.

"What did you say your name was?" I reply with another question.

"David," he says sharply, and I sense he is biting the inside of his cheek.

"Well, David, I do not understand why you think I need help. I think I'm completely fine on my own," I respond and lean back in my plastic chair. My straight brown hair falls onto my shoulders and my bangs fall onto my eyes.

"Eve, you tried to kill yourself. Do you remember that?" I let out a small laugh instinctively.

"No, I forgot," I spit out sarcastically. He squints his blue eyes at me in an unprofessional manner and leans forward.

"This is not a funny thing. Life is-"

"Precious. I know," I roll my hazel eyes and slide even further down in my chair.

"Why did you try to kill yourself?" I slouch even further, covering everything shoulder down from his view. "Are there family problems? Friend problems? How have you been feeling?" David continues on his search for information.

"I'm not sharing my intellectual feelings with a man I just met," I affirm, and make quotes in the air when I say intellectual feelings.

"You told your mother you did it to face your fears," he presses on. "What are you afraid of?" David places his hands atop the small table between us. "What are you afraid of?" His voice is getting louder. Louder, louder, and louder. He is yelling. He is screaming!

"Shut up!" I scream and throw myself onto my feet. David jumps slightly in his chair and his blonde hair falls from its former position. "You are so stupid!" I shriek into the air.

"Don't," David commands to a presence behind me. I follow his eyes to the left where a guard in all white is standing close by. "Why am I stupid, Eve?" His voice is much softer than before. I can almost see it flowing from his mouth as a light blue line, soaring around the room like a bird in- "Eve? Why am I stupid?" David interrupts. ]

"You already answered your question," I claim instantly and walk away, following the light blue line. It drifts around people and chairs as it makes its way through the building.

"Eve, wait," David calls behind me, but I don't listen. The voice line seems frightened of me, stopping for me to catch up and then increasing in speed when I get too close. "Make sure she eats dinner." David's voice, now in the distance, demands solemnly.

"Where are you going?" I whisper to myself as I run a bit to follow the line. It speeds up and flies around the corner. "Come back!" I yell and start into a run.

"Whoa!" a man voices, but I brush past him.

"Where did you-" I stop myself short when I see the faint blue line in front of a window. "No don't go!" I cry out as the line charges through the window. My feet surge me forward and my eyes see the line disappear as it hits the ground below. I sigh in dismay and fall onto the floor below me.

"There goes that," I breathe out. My hands fold together, and my white dress collects dust from the floor. I stare at my hands. They are cut and calloused from years of gardening with my mom. I wish I could go back to those days, days where I could be normal and not thought of as "mentally insecure." I just want to face my fear, but they won't let me. They don't listen.